Dear Friend Whom My Autistic Child Just Rebuffed

1k
1k

I know.  I saw.  You, friendly person that you are, walked up to my autistic child in public and tried to say hello.  And he got really, really upset with you.  I saw your concern.  Felt your embarrassment.  Knew you never meant to upset him.

When I see you, you ask about him.  When you’ve met him before, you always make a point of speaking directly to him – even when it seems he’s not paying attention.  You’ve even had really positive interactions with him in the past.  You did everything right.  You didn’t go rushing up or speak too loud to him.  You didn’t put your hands on him without being welcomed to do so by him.  You follow me on Facebook, read about the cute things he does, and celebrate his successes.  You’re a good friend and a great cheerleader.  I appreciate you.

And because of that, I don’t want your apology for “upsetting” him.  That’s because you didn’t.  It’s likely several things did, but it wasn’t you.  He was just overwhelmed a bit by the world – new sounds, sights, and experiences.  He was busy trying to process all of those when you happened to innocently walk up and try to interact.  For whatever reason, that’s when his pot boiled over.

callumtackle

He wasn’t judging you, disliking you, or even declaring how he feels about you in the future.  He was simply over capacity and expressed it the only way he knows how to – with a big fat “no more right now.”  Only he doesn’t yet have those words.  He isn’t able to convey exactly what was too much.  He meant to say, “I have had enough.”  But it wasn’t you.  It just seemed like it.  And I could tell by your red face that it felt like it too.

So, I’m begging you.  Please don’t slink away and give up on getting to know him.  Please don’t feel that he just doesn’t like you.  Please don’t feel like you did anything wrong.  He may have been overwhelmed emotionally and sensory-wise, but his mind is quick.  He knows the difference between someone who is good to him and someone who is not.  If you continue to gently engage with him when you see him, he’ll learn that you’re not to be feared –and you’ll learn there is nothing to fear from reaching out to him.  Before you know it, you’ll have a little buddy who expands your world – just as you will expand his.

I want you to know that your efforts to engage with my child are beautiful to me.  Too many people are afraid to try – afraid to “upset” him.  Afraid to simply ask what’s the best way to get to know him.  But you?  You put yourself out there and sent a message to our family, to him, and everyone in the immediate area – that he is worth knowing.  Not everyone knows that.  But you do.

And that’s why I want so very badly for him to get to know you.  Because clearly you are worth knowing too.

This post originally appeared on Flappiness Is...

1k
1k
TOPICS
JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Your Tears Mean the World to Me

267
267

Sweet Grace.  I saw that.  You watched as Kate sat beside a little girl and the girl moved quickly away.  Likely, she was fearful of a bite or the confusing way Kate speaks.  Either way, it crushed you.  Kate didn’t notice her little friend maneuver quickly away; one of the rare perks of autism, I guess.  She wasn’t the least bit affected.  You were, though.  I saw it in the way you cast your eyes down so the little girl would not see the tears in your eyes.  I saw it in the way you stopped coloring and instead stared at your page and twirled your hair.  I saw it in the way you glanced to me to see if I saw the interaction.

I smiled at you because I wanted you to know that it was ok and because your tears made my heart burst with pride.  There was no malice in that little girl’s heart when she moved away from our Kate.  She may be unsure and afraid of how to interact with Kate.  She may have even received a bite or a pinch from our girl at one time.

This is where you and I come in, Grace.  We are going to teach people how to adore Kate as much as we do.  We are going to teach people how to understand the way Kate tells you something with her actions when she cannot produce the words.  We are going to teach people that being different can be wonderful and exciting and scary, too.  We are going to do that for Kate because of everything she has done for us.  

IMG_4634 Remember when Kate gave you her turtle, Michelangelo, when you were crying because you were afraid to get on the school bus for the first time?  Remember when Kate offered you her popcorn when you dropped your whole kids pack at the movie theatre?  Remember when you cried your little heart out because Kate sobbed when she had her first haircut?  

Do you see how tears can sometimes mean something wonderful?  The tears you shed that day made me smile, not because I wanted to see you sad, but because I can see that Kate means everything to you and that means everything to me.

This blog originally appeared on GoTeamKate.com.

267
267
JOIN THE CONVERSATION

These ‘Champions of Autism’ Want You to Hear Them Roar

263
263

“I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar.”

In the video below,  a group of champions, brought together by the Autism Council of Utah, lip-synch those inspiring lyrics from Katy Perry’s “Roar” to celebrate National Autism Awareness Month this April.

“Autism can be a heavy diagnosis for a family to bear,” Amy Baker, of the Autism Council of Utah told The Mighty in an email, “BUT it can also bring a refreshing sense of innocence [and] open our minds as we try to look at life through their eyes and give us moments of pure joy. For every tear, frustration and worry, we need a good dose of laughter, a glimmer of hope and a fun video to put a big smile on our face!”

To get involved in the autism community, visit the Autism Society’s website.

263
263
JOIN THE CONVERSATION

College Basketball Player Doesn’t See His Younger Sister as ‘Different’

10
10

When Devin Oliver, a senior on the University of Dayton’s basketball team, first learned his younger sister, Miya, has Down syndrome, he knew more than ever that he’d always have to look out for her. But Miya looks out for him, too.

Even on Saturday, when Dayton lost to the University of Florida in the Elite 8, ending their season, Miya stood in the stands, cheering her brother on.

Before that game, Devin, Miya and their parents sat down with CBS Sports to talk about the incredible family bond they share. You can view that conversation below.

Dayton may have lost Saturday’s game, but the Oliver family didn’t lose anything.

10
10
JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Watch The Moving Moment A Woman, Deaf Her Whole Life, Hears For The First Time

2
2

Joanne Milne can finally listen to music. She can hear her friends laugh and birds chirp and the sound of her own voice.

The 40-year-old woman from Gateshead, England, was born deaf and began losing her vision in her 20s, according to the Journal. She suffers from Usher syndrome, a condition that can result in hearing and vision loss.

Last month, Milne underwent surgery to receive cochlear implants — small devices designed to help deaf people hear. In the video below, when the implants are switched on, Milne hears for the first time in her life. Her friend, Tremayne Crossley, captured the beautiful moment on film.

“I’m so happy,” Milne told the Journal. “Over the last 48 hours hearing someone laughing behind me, the birds twittering and just being with friends… They didn’t have to tap my arm to get my attention which is a massive leap.”

2
2
JOIN THE CONVERSATION

The Beautiful Message 15 People With Down Syndrome Had for a Scared Future Mom

987
987

When a soon-to-be mom learned her baby has Down syndrome, she wrote her concerns to CoorDown, Italy’s National Coordination of Associations for People with Down Syndrome.

“I’m scared,” she said in the email. “What kind of life will my child have?”

Fifteen people, all who have Down syndrome, gave her a heartwarming answer:

987
987
JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Real People. Real Stories.

6,300
CONTRIBUTORS
150 Million
READERS

We face disability, disease and mental illness together.