There has been a few videos in the past few months about my daughter, Pip, Happy Soul Project and my little family that I honestly can’t watch without shedding a few. Awhile back this tear-jerker from Station 14 Kingston came out, and then, well, there possibly will never be anything in my life again like the Indie88 Billboard reveal video:
I adore that my family gets to have these keepsakes, if you will… these moments in our lives captured so beautifully to remember, be proud of and have a good cry at.
But I wanted to address one small thing in all of this…
Since all this media attention, be it videos or articles, I’m constantly getting messages about what an amazing momma I am. And while it’s always nice to hear and really lifts me up, I want it noted that I am indeed just a ordinary, everyday momma. It’s just, in my case, I am in extraordinary circumstances in which the very best of me is being being showcased.
These videos, news articles, even my own pictures or blog posts, show me kissing my babies, laughing and dancing, fighting for advocacy and awareness. It doesn’t show me yelling, “Dammit!” after my toddler son refuses to eat the eggs he just demanded I make or my eyes having their own pulse because I am so bloody tired. It doesn’t show me crying in my minivan when Pip has a discouraging appointment or sobbing in my pillow when I find out another babe with Down syndrome didn’t make it. It doesn’t show me texting my girlfriends when I’ve spent hours trying to get Noal or as I refer to him “my demon” to bed, frustrated as all hell. It doesn’t show me in my pajamas having a day filled with Dora and Franklin because just the thought of lugging all of us out is beyond exhausting. And it certainly doesn’t show me making beans and toast again for dinner or stepping on yet another dinky car while swearing & throwing it, marking up the wall.
It shows the best of me — or so I like to think.
Take yesterday… Pip and I were on Cityline (Hello amazing!!!), and what you saw was a momma who loved her daughter and was fighting the fight to spread #differentisbeautiful a little further.
And while that is the case, what you didn’t see was:
- I got lost and missed my exit coming into Toronto — I drove around downtown in traffic for two extra hours with Pip losing it, me needing to pee like it was my job and swerving my big momma van to avoid you fearless Toronto bikers.
- I stayed up too late with my cousin drinking too much wine and scarfing down the most garlic of all garlic-tzatziki sauces as if I didn’t have an uber important TV interview in the morning.
- I was up four times with Pip from 1 to 6 a.m. and was at my wit’s end about to lose it from lack of sleep, a teething baby and nervousness at the day ahead when she woke me up with this:
- My hair started out curly — then Toronto humidity beat it down, and I was worried it was going to get all big and bad for the interview. Instead of thinking about what I was going to say or what questions I might be asked, I was wondering how I was going to manage the frizz.
- I waited in a parking lot outside Cityline for almost 45 minutes begging Pip to sleep because it was gonna be prime nap time when we were supposed to be filming. No such luck, which in turn caused hair pulling and glasses rip-offs live on air.
- I chatted with my husband numerous times before I walked in because he somehow in his straight-forward-way calms me the heck down.
- When we had the Today’s Parent shoot, I desperately wanted them to do my makeup but they said I looked fine. This time I was making sure it happened, and I looked a bit “rougher” coming in, blame the wine or the baby up all night. Either way I wanted to see what I could/would look like done up by a professional.
- Not only did the makeup artist have to work around and with Pip in my lap reaching for her brushes, but she had to endure my still rancid tzatziki breath — so sorry about that.
- They had trouble getting the microphone in my dress because it was so bloody tight – that’s a whole other blog in itself… I mean what does one wear on TV? We all know I struck out big time live with the Huffington Post. So you’d think I’d learn to step it up a notch, but no — went big with an Old Navy Dress and Ardene’s belt.
- One of the first things I did when I sat in the chair to be interviewed was nervously ask if the mug full of water was “for real” and could I have it so that I felt like I was on a “real talk show” — I’m seriously such a twonk. The audience laughed and they played along with me but who knows what they thought when I announced and then stole the mug as a souvenir.
- Everything happens so fast — one minute you are watching the show in the greenroom, next you are watching a few steps away and then wham — you’re in the chair and the camera is on. And the whole time I was wondering, how the heck are my legs supposed to be in this scenario? I looked over and the lovely Sasha, Editor-in-Chief of Today’s Parent had her legs crossed all lady like, but I had Pip on my lap, so quickly made the decision to cross at the ankle. Bad call, but y’all gotta realize that was honestly what was going through my head.
- But then the questions started and, not knowing it at the time, but reflecting back after watching it a mere 32 times, I talk too much with my heart and way too much with my hands.
- Add the granola bar I gave Pip and called lunch on the way home and trying to change out of my too-tight dress in a busy parking lot and there you have it…
You see, I’m just an ordinary, everyday mom being showcased by all the best points…
Don’t get me wrong, I do really think I am an awesome momma to my two little hooligans… most days.
But I have to state — I think we all are — Being a momma is beyond anything I imagined. The happiest, the hardest and the most humbling experience by far in life.
But it’s us everyday mommas that are so awesome — It’s that momma I saw the other day who had a baby and was entertaining a busy toddler. It’s that momma who has twins and is determine to breastfeed them both. It’s that momma who just knows something is wrong and fights and pushes for her babe. It’s that momma who makes homemade muffins and baby food or who, like me, lives off those squeeze packs. It’s that momma who volunteers at school, takes on play dates or goes to a job and works her arse off. It’s that momma who, at the end of the day, kisses her sweet babes and thinks to herself, “I love you, I love us but tomorrow I am going to be an even better momma.”
Being a momma is what is amazing and inspiring. And I just happen to get this awesome opportunity to show others how I do it.
So, truly thank you for all the kind and uplifting comments, messages and words — Right back at ya though, mommas, right back at ya.
This post originally appeared on Happy Soul Project.
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