Dying Man Writes Hilarious, Outrageous, Downright Perfect Obituary for Himself
This is a man who managed to maintain his sense of humor, even in the darkest of times.
Aaron Joseph Purmort, 35, died peacefully in his home in Minneapolis on November 25, after battling brain cancer since 2011, according to his wife’s blog.
In his final days, Purmort found a creative way to leave his friends and family — as well as countless strangers — with a smile after he was gone. With his wife, Nora, he wrote a lighthearted and funny obituary for himself. In it, he reveals he’s Spider-Man, calls for his son to avenge his death, and claims he was previously married to singer Gwen Stefani.
Below is the obituary, originally published in The Star Tribune:
Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long. Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city. His family knew him only as a kind and mild-mannered Art Director, a designer of websites and t-shirts, and concert posters who always had the right cardigan and the right thing to say (even if it was wildly inappropriate). Aaron was known for his long, entertaining stories, which he loved to repeat often. In high school, he was in the band The Asparagus Children, which reached critical acclaim in the northern suburbs. As an adult, he graduated from the College of Visual Arts (which also died an untimely death recently) and worked in several agencies around Minneapolis, settling in as an Interactive Associate Creative Director at Colle + McVoy. Aaron was a comic book aficionado, a pop-culture encyclopedia and always the most fun person at any party. He is survived by his parents Bill and Kim Kuhlmeyer, father Mark Purmort (Patricia, Autumn, Aly), sisters Erika and Nicole, first wife Gwen Stefani, current wife Nora and their son Ralph, who will grow up to avenge his father’s untimely death. A service will be held on December 3, 2014 at Shelter Studios, 721 Harding St. NE, Mpls 55413 at 6 pm.
“I’ve never laughed and cried more in one sitting,” Nora Purmont said in her blog, about writing the obituary with her late husband. “But I’m so glad we got to do this. I love this man so damn much.”
In this dark time, Nora Purmort has evidently also been able to maintain her sense of humor. She recently tweeted some funny remarks about her husband’s claim to have been married to Gwen Stefani.
— nora purmort (@noraborealis) December 2, 2014
— nora purmort (@noraborealis) November 30, 2014
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