A Little Girl Asked Why My Daughter With Autism Is Weird. Her Friend Had the Best Response.
The other day we had a few girls from the neighborhood over. I was sitting, having a cup of coffee and talking to my best friend, who happens to be the mother of one of the girls. I heard another little girl ask my best friendâs child, âWhat is wrong with Gabby?â
This is a moment that usually causes me to cringe because even though the girls are just playing in my living room with toys and watching a Disney movie on TV, this oneâs already figured out that my daughter is different. Without any meltdowns or tantrums, this new child has caught on to my daughterâs disability.
I hold my breath and wait to hear her response. My best friendâs daughter smiles and says, âWell Gabby has autism, and thatâs what makes her special. She lives in a world that is different than oursâŚkind of like her brain does not work the same way.â
The other little girl says, âIs that why she is weird?â
My best friendâs daughter laughs and says, âShe is not weird; she just likes to play âmake believeâ a lot, and she really likes horses. You just have to play the things she wants to play, and if she gets rough you have to tell her mom. She doesnât like scary movies, and she cries a lot some days, but her mom is the only mom in the neighborhood who will let everyone come inside, and she always serves snacks and drinks. Just give her some time and you will see the real her.â
Their conversation only lasted a minute, but what I learned in that minute is other children can accept my child, but they will not be fooled. They know pretty soon after meeting Gabby that sheâs unique. Iâve never been secretive about Gabbyâs disabilities. I often speak about the challenges and triumphs of our little girl to others.
My child stands out from the bunch; she probably always will, but listening to this little girlâs definition of autism and then having them play with Gabby lets me know she will continue to spread awareness. When she runs into another boy or girl in school, they will understand a little better what autism is. Itâs not something to be scared of. âAutisticâ does not mean they canât be friends. It just mean an individual is unique but wants to play, just like every other child. A little patience and understanding is required.
This little girl took the facts a friend shared with her and played for the rest of the afternoon with my little girl. She ended up having a great time playing horses. Not all days go like this; some days my child is upset with the other little girls, and we have to close our door and send everyone home. But today we made a new friend, and the girls got to play inside on a cold day. My child got to experience normal play with a group of girls, and that is always my goal.
Despite Gabby being different, Iâm firmly committed to her being part of our community. I drag her to Sunday school, even though she doesnât make it in the class very long. Other children are exposed to her for a short while, and thatâs important for her and them. One in 68 children are affected with autism today; my child may be the first autistic child these kindergarteners get to know, but she wont be the last.
When dark clouds appear above my head and life gets me down, I force myself to push away the darkness and live in the light. I remember we need to go out â not for Gabby or me â but for all the other little children struggling with autism. I hear much too often moms of children with autism saying, âItâs not worth the hassle to take her to the fair.â I would agree with them on that statement; it would be easier to keep the doors closed and let Gabby play by herself. Thatâs where sheâs most comfortable, and no outside influences will push her outside of her comfort zone. But if any child needs to be pushed, itâs an autistic child. I cannot keep her in a perfect bubble or world for long. As much as I would like to keep my child safe and have no one question or make fun of her, thatâs not reality. So I push her to events in our community, church and school, not because my child enjoys those events so much, but because weâre going for the autistic children coming after us. Just like the parents before us who pushed their children into our communities, we must continue to do the same.
We have to keep going, pushing and being seen. We have to keep having conversations with strangers and our childrenâs friends about autism. Putting my daughter out in the world, making her uncomfortable is the only way I can make social interaction easier for her and others around her. Practice makes perfect!  So practice we shall.