Someone Asked My Son With Autism Why Eye Contact Is Hard. This Was His Answer.

I received this question, through my own blog for my son, who has autism. His name is Philip.

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Hi Philip,

My sister, who has a son with autism, just told me about your page. I’m a big admirer of what you’re doing.

I am trying to learn everything I can about what life is like for my nephew so I can interact with him better. As I’m only just discovering your page, I’m not sure if you’ve covered this topic before: Why is it so difficult to make eye contact with people? For me, it was always hard to communicate with my nephew because I used to think he wasn’t paying attention since he was looking away or stimming, which made it seem like it was impossible for him to hear what I was saying. I know better now but would love to find out more about what it’s like. Thank you for opening up your world to us – you are an inspiration!

I had Philip write back. He said:

I am letting you know about eye contact. My eyes see very well. Most people seem to need to have to look long and hard to make sense of a picture. I can take in a whole picture at a glance. Each day I see too many little petty details. I look away to not get overwhelmed by a lot of little bits of information. I watch things that a teacher or person I listen to tells me to watch. This helps me concentrate on what I should be focusing on. I can search for a teacher’s voice to try to focus on. I am academically learning best when I sit side-by-side with a teacher. A seat on the side keeps me focused on your voice and not on visual distractions. I am assessing many sounds too. I have to erase some stimuli to access my answers to people’s questions and meet their demands. That is why I don’t make eye contact. I am always listening. I listen a lot to voices. I so love when people talk to me and are not talking like I am not there. I am active because I am unable to feel my body well. People think I am being rude but I can’t help it. I need to move to feel my body, but sitting down at least helps me not walk away from you. Please peacefully talk to your nephew. Let him know you understand. I am sad when people think I don’t like them. I love people.

Love,

Philip

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This post originally appeared on Faith, Hope and Love… With Autism.

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