Why I Bring My Daughter a Plain, Unfrosted Cupcake to Birthday Parties


544404_4456638873697_1765936352_n I know other moms give me a sideways stare when I bring my daughter a plain (unfrosted) cupcake to another child’s birthday party. They think I’m some health nut, but I promise you, I would change it if I could, but I can’t.

My daughter has food allergies, and there’s nothing we can do about it. We simply accept it. But what’s more amazing than anything is that at just 3 years old, my daughter accepts it too. Lately when she notices she’s eating something different, she points to the other food and says, “That will make me ‘blech.’ Then she makes a lovely vomiting noise. Yes, honey, it will; it will give you horrible hives and projectile bodily fluids every few minutes for hours on end. Let’s stay away from it.

From the day she was born we knew something was not right with Melina. She just had so many issues.   Doctor after doctor said I was being a hypersensitive first-time mom. One doctor did agree that she was having an allergic reaction to something, but his exact words were, “We will never know what it is though.”   My thought was, “Wanna bet?!”

When she was around 8 or 9 months old, we finally figured it out; she was allergic to dairy. Not lactose intolerant — allergic. We thought how horrible for her, but at least we know what’s wrong. Within months we discovered she was also allergic to soy, eggs, chocolate and fish.

Imagine? No dairy, soy or eggs. Those are the big three. Almost everything has one of those three. It eliminates processed foods of almost any kind. Nearly everything in our house is made from scratch (ever try and make egg-free mayo? It’s an entertaining experiment in texture). There are always two pans on the stove or two dishes in the oven — one with our food and the one with the “special” food. The food made to look similar to ours so she doesn’t feel deprived. Most times we just try and eat something she can have.

As she got older her reactions got worse, and we ordered our first EpiPen, terrified that her allergic reaction was becoming anaphylactic. So far, we haven’t had to use them, but they are there just in case.

At times I felt sorry for my daughter because she might never know the joys of white cake with pink buttercream frosting, but then I think about how we’ve been so blessed with our baby girl. She’s happy and full of life. She laughs at everything and revels in her daddy’s tickles. Who cares if she can’t eat regular pizza but rather a homemade one with vegan, soy-free cheese? It seems like a silly thing to be bothered by when you think about it in those terms.

Are her allergies annoying? Absolutely. But are they really worth whining about? As long as she’s healthy, absolutely not. I wouldn’t change a thing about our little princess because if watching what she eats is all it takes to keep her happy and healthy, I will do that with a smile on my face.

And truthfully, there are even some good food days. Like the one when her godmother discovered that soy-free, dairy-free “butter” sticks actually whip up just like regular butter. Melina will know the joys of pink “princess” buttercream frosting over white (vegan) cake. On those days we know it won’t always be so difficult, and we’re truly lucky to have what really could be considered “minor” issues.

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