How My Brother With Autism Made My Wedding Unforgettable


I remember my wedding day vividly for a number of reasons. I married the most amazing man who loves me for all that I am. Our wedding was planned with love. We spent hours crafting a ceremony that was perfectly us. We found poems and stories to include that spoke of our relationship. It was impossible for me to read the final draft of our wedding ceremony without tears in my eyes.

sarah ely the mighty

Our bridal party included our dear friends and siblings. My brother, Jamie, was one of our groomsmen.  Jamie has been diagnosed with PDD/NOS and mental retardation. Sometimes Jamie was happy to be a part of our bridal party. Sometimes he told me that he was too nervous to be a part of it, but we talked him through it. We explained what would happen.

My husband, James, told him how much it would mean to both of us for him to be up there with us. James said he would have another brother. So Jamie agreed.

We’ve talked to so many people since our wedding day. They tell us how beautiful our wedding was, and how happy James and I were. But, without fail, the part that people remember the most is Jamie.

When the minister asked if the community around us affirmed our wedding, everybody was quiet, still listening. Into that silence, Jamie shouted YES. He didn’t hesitate. He shouted. YES. There was a pause, and then laughter. And clapping. Because Jamie’s declaration of YES was exactly what our wedding needed.

Jamie didn’t know that we would be asking for an affirmation, or even what that meant.  But he did know that that was the moment to say it, and if you’re going to say it, you may as well say it as loud as you can.  The ceremony stopped as everyone cheered for Jamie, who was grinning from ear to ear.  He didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day.

I think back on this moment often. It was perfect. Jamie was perfect. We would have had a lovely day regardless of what happened; we were getting married! But the fact that Jamie took that day and really made his mark on it made it another thing all together.

Our wedding photographer managed to capture that moment after Jamie said yes. You can see our joy, and the joy of everyone around us. What better wedding gift could we have asked for?

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