Inside the Mind of Someone With an Undiagnosed Pain Condition
There are many emotions that come with having an undiagnosed pain condition. For me, the most prominent emotion is fear, because I am in so much pain all of the time and have no idea what is causing it. This makes my mind race, constantly worrying and thinking of the worst possible scenarios. I then obsess trying to find patterns and causes and figure out what makes the pain worse. This causes my anxiety to sky rocket, and although I try to be patient and grateful that the doctors are doing all they can to try to figure out what is going on, it is very difficult to wait for a diagnosis.
I also find myself feeling helpless, because I don’t know what the problem is, no one can tell me how to fix it. I don’t know how to make it better for myself; I don’t know whether to push myself or whether that might make things worse and it is better to rest; I don’t know whether I am taking stronger and stronger painkillers, which may be pointless and causing other problems for my body. I feel very frustrated, because without knowing what I am dealing with, I don’t know how best to manage.
As far as the doctors go, I have been lucky so far, as they are doing their best (with a little bit of pushing) to try to get answers for me. I know this is not always the case for some people, so I do feel blessed in that respect. However, the attitudes of some doctors when I try to explain the pain is everywhere and I have no idea what is causing it, seem to be very skeptical. I get the distinct feeling they think I might be exaggerating, which is confusing and extremely annoying, since I wish more than anything the pain didn’t exist or wasn’t this bad!
Overall I try to manage the best way I can, and be patient in waiting to find out what is going on. I try to remain positive, as I know that I can get through this with the help of my support system, and I just need to keep pushing on.