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When I Need You to Hear What I Cannot Say

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I could reach out.

But really, what would I say?

I’m sinking.

But you already know that as you see me knee deep in chaos.

I’m crashing.

But you already know that as you see my scars.

I’m hurting.

• What is Bipolar disorder?

But you already know that as you see me wipe away the tears

I’m drowning.

But you already know that as you see I can’t breathe.

I’m ashamed.

But you already know this as I harbor secrets about myself.

I’m scared.

But you already know that as you hold my shaken body.

I’m beaten.

But you already know that as I’ve lost my voice

I’m lost.

But you already know that as you see me spin in circles.

I’m tired.

But you already know that as you see me lifeless on the couch.

I’m broken.

But you already know that as you see me struggle to stand.

I’m alone.

But you already know that as you see me withdraw into nothingness.

I’m hopeless.

You don’t know this as I can’t seem to fully let you in.

I’m trying.

Oh how I’m trying to lean on you in these moments.

I’m trying.

Oh how I’m trying to fight the demons of bipolar depression.

I’m trying.

Oh how I’m trying to say… please help me

Please tell me you can hear me.

Originally published: July 6, 2016
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