When Anxiety Makes You a 'Revolving Door' Friend
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
I’ve said this line far too many times for someone who’s never even dated anyone. My anxiety makes me a revolving door friend, in your life one minute, out the next. In your eyes, you may think I’m unreliable. Before you give up on me and our friendship, there are 11 things I want you to know:
1. I haven’t given up on you.
2. I care about you. More than you know. Please, understand when I can’t be there for you, there is no one more hurt than me.
3. Sometimes I just need space. I promise when I feel OK, whether it’s two days or two years down the line, I always come back around.
4. Don’t try to fix me. Also, don’t tell me what to do. That will only push me away further. What I need to know is that you love and accept me the way I am.
5. Keep inviting me. I never cancel because I get a better deal. There are days when my anxiety is so strong, I cannot pull myself out the door. There are also days when I can. When I can, I will.
6. I’m not fine. I say I am because I don’t want to bog you down with the chaos inside my head.
7. My intention is never to hurt you. In fact, sometimes I am too scared I will like you too much. I know I’m not good with commitment. I fear getting close and disappointing you.
8. Please, be patient. Even though I may not deserve it, hold on a little longer.
9. I hope one day I can be as good of a friend as you are to me.
10. I’m here for you. Even when you think I’m not. I hope you know if you ever are in an emergency, call and I will come around.
11. I’m sorry. I’m aware it’s not fair how I treat you. I hate that my anxiety gets the best of both of us. All I can do is try again tomorrow, the next day and the next day (so long as you allow me too).