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When You've Reached a Point in Recovery Where You Don't Know What to Do Next

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What happens when you’ve been working hard on you physical and mental health in recovery, and you don’t know what the next step is? I found myself asking this question today right when I woke up. I’m sure everyone will have different opinions. Some will say there is no recovery, and some will say “recovered enough” is OK. I think when it comes down to it, it is up to your personal core beliefs.

An eating disorder is a scary thing. I think we can all agree on that. It’s difficult to recover, or fully commit to recovery, because everything inside of you that has gone along with this disease so far, that little voice in your head telling you that the worst thing you could possibly do is have that cookie, is fighting against your will to live.

So what if you get past that?

What if you consume enough calories to be able to heal some of the damage that has been done, and finally see things through a different perspective?

I’d call this the “healing” perspective. It allows you to see things that you couldn’t when you were in the throes of the eating disorder.

So now that you are sustaining yourself and making new leaps and bounds, things might seem to be going better for you.

But what happens when you don’t know what to do next?

Right now I feel really good, like I am in this lull, all comfy and cozy and wrapped in a cotton blanket. I know I still have work to do on my eating, and I know I still need to work on my positive self-talk, but I also know this stage is probably not the end. It’s not the end of my recovery journey, because I am able to see where more progress can be made, because I do want to heal completely, even if some would argue it’s not possible.

If you are in a place of uncertainty in your life, whether it be healing from an eating disorder and not knowing where to turn next, depression and starting a new medication that might not be working, or any other problem that pops up in life naturally, I want you to ask yourself the question, “what can I do to keep encouraging growth?”

I am asking myself this question right now, because though I might look normal from the outside, and I am no longer engaging in the behaviors I was before, I
still recognize some issues.

A good tip is keep asking the hard questions, and keep seeking answers. It’s so easy to get frustrated and tired in recovery, so don’t try to work on everything all at once. Be gentle and learn about yourself, like you never have before.

Keep asking “now what?” and search for new ways to cope and bring yourself peace. All the work you are doing now, in this place of rest and questioning, can only benefit you later on. No matter what, keep fighting.

Originally published: September 2, 2016
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