Since the onset of bipolar disorder, I have used music as a form of auditory medicine for my mind. A healthy, yet powerful way to self-medicate.
• What is Bipolar disorder?
These self-inflicted sounds are friends that sometimes validate my mind-state. The visuals’ pace elevates with overlapping imagery, one annihilating the next. Music matches my mood, aggressive and full of rage. Nobody relates, but the melodic mash of moans and guttural tones finds a way to validate my thought-scape. I am at ease.
Other days I fear my mood will leap off a cliff, pushed by a song or a riff. I turn my back on the sounds that once soothed due to fear of an afflictive fall.
Tears then weigh my face. This time to a nostalgic place. With stained skin I listen again. The colorful sounds lift me to a higher state. A smile forms, my frown is gone. If but for a moment I am calm.
Image via Thinkstock.
My name is Don Lane, I am a filmmaker, photographer and mental health advocate. I live on Maui and currently work as the Media Specialist for Mental Health Kokua. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder with psychotic features and have experienced various symptoms since the age of 14. I am always striving to diminish stigma and help others with mental illness recognize their voice.
don-lane