This piece was written by Brianna Wiest, a Thought Catalog contributor.
There’s really no such thing as having an “anxious mind.” There’s only having your anxiety fueled by your thoughts (which is something that everyone experiences now and again). But some of the people who feel it most intensely are those whose rapid thinking is in constant contrast to their super chill, laid-back personalities. They never know when to fight or flight, everything seems like an over-reaction and their self-angst is maxed out, because their hearts are calm and their heads are crazed, more often than they will ever admit.
Here are some of the things that happen when you have an anxious mind and a laid-back personality
1. You epitomize leading a life of “quiet desperation.” Half of the reason you’re anxious all the time is because you don’t naturally act on or, therefore, process your emotions, and while that’s positive in some ways, it’s debilitating in others.
2. You’re naturally zen in that you observe your emotions objectively. Which is fantastic in that you’re not controlled by them, but harmful because you then start to believe you only have to process or truly feel the ones you want to.
3. You’re highly indecisive; your head and heart are a paradox all within themselves. You feel as though you’re always going back and forth between preparing for the worst and hoping for the best, and rarely in-between.
4. You’re laid back because you know how to quiet your mind. Most of your #chill lifestyle was developed out of necessity. Your brain starts to short circuit when you overload it with any more drama or worry, so you actively go out of your way to create a life where the only problems you have are the ones you make up in your mind.
5. You’re most comfortable with your life when you feel prepared for the worst. Your mind constantly goes back to what you’d do if you were to lose a job, lose a relationship, etc.
6. You seek solitude and relaxing environments so your brain can process and let off steam. You’re not one of those people who needs any more external stimuli to keep them entertained or wondering or interested — you’ve got that all covered, perhaps to an unhealthy degree.
7. You are your own locus of control. And perhaps this is the most positive characteristic you have: you do not assume that anybody else is responsible for your emotions, and you know this because thinking otherwise places you in a minefield of suffering for the rest of your life.
8. You’re non-confrontational to a fault. You’ll do anything to avoid not having to upset anybody, and that often results in you not communicating how you really feel, when doing so would eliminate the problem altogether.
9. You often wonder if it’s your resistance to action that creates your anxiety-thoughts. That maybe feeling jealous or anxious or upset is just an internal call to do better, one that’s being avoided.
10. You keep a tight social circle. You feel like you can only really have fun when you’re in the presence of people you’re truly comfortable with.
11. You’re particular about what you want, yet super chill about what you have. You probably need to keep a gratitude journal if you don’t have one already, one, because that’s something you’d be into, and two, because you have a hard time being completely “in the moment.”
12. You’re all but convinced the smartest people on Earth have somehow transcended their neurological hardwiring, and know how to just enjoy life. You know that “ignorance is bliss” may be a misquote and a generally terrible way to approach life, and yet you often fantasize about how lovely it would be to just not worry at all.
13. Your entire life struggle can be summed up as not having “the wisdom to know the difference.” You’re very good at letting go. You’re even better at trying harder. But knowing when each is appropriate is completely lost on you. Alas: the #struggle.
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