A Poem for My First Love Who Died by Suicide


Editor’s note: If you experience suicidal thoughts, the following post could be potentially triggering. You can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741.

To My Angel Up In Heaven To my angel up in heaven,
I know this isn’t true.
To my angel up in heaven,
I’m not ready to cry for you.

To my angel up in heaven,
You had too much to leave behind.
To my angel up in heaven,
I’m so confused, get off my mind.

To my angel up in heaven,
I can feel you every day.
To my angel up in heaven,
I am lost for words to say.

To my angel up in heaven,
Are you watching me below?
To my angel up in heaven,
Will you lift me when I’m low?

To my angel up in heaven,
I will do this on my own,
To my angel up in heaven,
Would you just leave me alone?

To my angel up in heaven,
I can’t hear you, speak louder!
To my angel up in heaven,
Give me a sign that you’re still out there!

To my angel up in heaven,
Forgive me, for I was weak.
To my angel up in heaven,
I’ll do better, you will see.

To my angel up in heaven,
I should have stood by you in your need.
To my angel up in heaven,
I’ll do better. Just come back. Please.

To my angel up in heaven,
I wanted to save you, but I didn’t know how.
To my angel up in heaven,
I should have tried harder, I know that now.

To my angel up in heaven,
In your last breath, did you call my name?
To my angel up in heaven,
Was I not enough to heal your pain?

To my angel up in heaven,
The image burns within my mind.
You picked it up and pulled the trigger,
And you left this world behind.

To my angel up in heaven,
I hurt for all your pain.
To my angel up in heaven,
Should I come be with you again?

For my angel up in heaven,
You made my life so full,
Oh, my angel up in heaven,
You’re the part that made me whole.

To my angel up in heaven,
I don’t know how to live without you,
But my angel up in heaven,
I know that I will have to.

For my angel up in heaven,
It is you that gives me wings.
So my angel up in heaven,
I will survive this suffering.

To my angel up in heaven,
Won’t you watch over me a while?
To my angel up in heaven,
And for you I’ll find my smile.

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.

If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text “START” to 741-741.

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