18 Truths to Read When You're Believing Depression's Lies


Today, I feel hurt by friends who have let me down, and life circumstances that haven’t exactly gone the way I would have liked. But I am giving myself permission to tell myself the things I need to hear, the affirmations I need to put on paper to keep from drowning in the sea of lies my depressed mind will tell me. And those truths are the following:

1. I made a mistake, but it does not mean I am a mistake.

2. When I see my peers’ accomplishments, I don’t have to compare myself to them.

3. I feel lonely, but I am not inferior because I am alone.

4. People don’t flock to me, but it doesn’t mean I am worthless.

5. My messages to friends may go unanswered, but it’s not a reflection on me.

6. Many have hurt me, but it does not mean I have to hurt myself.

7. I may be overlooked by others sometimes, but I am allowed to look at myself and admire what I see.

8. I may be overshadowed sometimes, but it doesn’t mean I should let my light stop burning.

9. Others may seem like they have it all, but I don’t know when their hearts are heavy.

10. Even if someone is “better” at something than me it doesn’t mean I don’t have talent.

11. Just because a lot of people aren’t paying attention to my work, it doesn’t mean I’m not making a contribution.

12. Today may look bleak, but I don’t know what tomorrow will bring.

13. Tonight may hurt, but I need to be the one to give myself a second chance tomorrow.

14. I may feel hurt, but it does not mean I have to hurt myself. This hurt may come back again and again and again, but slowly I will work through it and one day I will be happier, healthier and freer.

15. Even when nobody stands by me, I can stand up for myself. I want to learn to believe in myself and advocate for myself. When friends have abandoned my side after I stood up for them, I want to be the person who stays and stands up for me.

16. I may be hurt tonight, but it doesn’t mean I have to stay hurt tomorrow.

17. Others may not treat me well, but it doesn’t mean I deserve it.

18. Others may hurt me, but I can heal.

To anyone else who is hurting today, give your situation time, patience and grace. Extend yourself love and patience and give yourself space to feel or not feel, to process through the thoughts and emotions.

You don’t have to hurt yourself — emotionally, physically, mentally — because of any mistake you have made or any abandonment you have faced or any abuse or neglect you have experienced. You don’t have to struggle silently at the hands of those who have hurt you in the past by replaying the conversations, revisiting the old places, recalling the inferiority you felt, retelling the lies that have permeated your mind ever since.

Consider this your permission, your encouragement, to be free, to let go, to forgive, to scream, to write that letter and burn it, to delete that phone number and never answer it, to drop that subject and never pick it up or to go to a therapist and finally open up. Whatever you need to do to heal and move on, please do it. Don’t let go of yourself. Stop taking your hurt out on yourself. Because you don’t deserve it. You’ve been through enough and you are enough and you are beautiful just as you are.

Consider this permission to finally love yourself, even if it just starts with one tiny little part of yourself you admit isn’t so bad. Or one pat on the back for something you checked off your to-do list. Recovery is in your grasp and if it seems out of reach right now, it’s OK to just strive for survival. One foot in front of the other is progress, too.

Consider this permission to go at your own pace, admire your own face and give yourself some grace. Look around and see the faces that can’t live without you. Write down the things you have accomplished, no matter how small.

Consider this permission to move on and start healing. Start by saying this: “I am not a problem.”

Follow this journey on These Dark Cafe Days.

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