10 Things Not to Do When You Are 'Super Pooped'

When you are completely fatigued and exhausted you enter into another realm…the realm of the “super pooped.” This could be from the intense chronic fatigue your illness has left you with, the resultant forces of medication changes or the painsomnia that has kept you in agony for nights.

When you are super pooped, no rational thinking occurs at this point. Random acts magically take place. The world is not a safe place with the super pooped on the loose!

Here are some words of wisdom…or 10 things not to do when super pooped (i.e. what I did on Tuesday).

1. Drive. Yes, you have good automatic recall of how to actually drive, but when you can’t remember how you made it to your appointment, start worrying. Then there is the parking… Yes, my car has more dings in it post-CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) than pre-CFS. Thankfully none were added today!

2. Eat really good-looking paleo treats (like chocolate hazelnut brownie) when you order your coffee before your appointment because you are so excited they have a paleo treat – though you’re forgetting you are going to the appointment for the intense stomach pain you are having. Pure decadent torture!

3. Write a guest blog post while drinking said coffee before the appointment, forgetting you have barely left the house in a week. And not only have you just used 30 minutes of cognitive energy leaving the house, but you have also showered, dressed and are out in public, so trying to work the brain is not a wise idea. No fear – that blog post will most definitely get edited before sending it off!

4. Try and do anything other than smile politely with a medical secretary who gives you “the look” when you ask about the concession charge…while then trying to restrain the not very tactful monologue about how far that $20 difference will go, and that in fact the appointment fees are a third of the amount of welfare money I am living on each week. In retrospect, I kind of wish I could have let it loose…maybe next week when I am less super pooped.

5. Cook dinner. Note to self (and others): baking paper burns when near the element of the oven you have turned on really high. Fingers burn when they grab the baking tray in the process of putting out the resultant fire. This means posts like this are written entirely with your left hand on your phone as your right hand is now out of action, stinging like crazy.

Note to self #2: check smoke alarms that didn’t go off despite fire.

6. Cook dinner (Part B). Because when making pizza on gluten-free wraps for three people it is important to check:

A. How many wraps are in the pack (two, it turns out, hence leading to
the drama in #5 when I tried to make an alternate base for myself).

B. If we actually have any cheese. (As a non-cheese eater I don’t pay much attention to this…I just presume it will be in the fridge. Turns out…don’t presume.)

7. Post on social media. A bit like how the movies portray drunken texting of the ex in the early hours of the morning. The brain definitely ain’t functioning clearly. A whole lot of posting then deleting… Whoops!

8. Try to remember where you hid your housemate’s birthday present you bought months ago (because you are a mostly organized individual!) so you can wrap it. Found it eventually…part in a box of handbags and shoes, and the other part under my desk in my wardrobe turned office. In the process, decide on the best plan of action to start cleaning your room and reorganizing your life at 8:30 p.m…with a killer sore hand (see #5).

9. Try and use any adjectives other than “nice” and “good” when texting with a friend. Sadly, no adjectives come to mind. Which is odd, because normally when I am super pooped I can write brilliant cheesy 25 words or less competition entries.

10. Start pondering life, your existence and why that other person hasn’t texted you back at 9:00 p.m. Always a bad move in the evening. For anyone. Not just the super pooped.

11. Count.

12. Realize you have a great idea for a blog post about being super fatigued and all the really silly things you did today and so your left hand starts typing away on your phone. And then all hope of falling asleep despite being super pooped isn’t going to happen for a few more hours as you have missed the window of sleep opportunity. And your hand still really hurts…

This post originally appeared on Make It, Bake It, Fake It.

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Thinkstock photo via Creatas Images.