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To the Person Who Listens When I Cry

Dear you,

It’s true that you’ve never dealt with anyone who has depression and anxiety before. It’s true that you have no experience, and you have no idea what to do exactly if the cloudy days come. It’s true that even though your only intention was to make me feel better, sometimes you make me feel worse.

I want to let you know that it’s OK.

It’s OK if you don’t know the right words to soothe me right away. It’s OK if you can’t make my bad days go away with a sweet and well-thought message. It’s OK if your words of encouragement and support fling off of me. It’s OK if your comforting actions don’t fulfill their purpose. It’s OK if you don’t know what it’s like to have depression and anxiety.

It’s OK because I know you’re trying. I know you’re trying your best, and that’s more than I could hope for.

Today I had a panic attack and felt like I was going to die. My anxiety kicked in, and even though I was safely tucked in my bed at home, I had the irrational fear that I was somehow going to die. That happens. I told you about it and you came flying to the rescue with your words of encouragement and support. Your messages full of hope and so much love. They were so beautiful, but I couldn’t see the beauty in them because of my depression. It clouds my mind.

I cried. I cried so much.

My chest was aching, and I couldn’t really breathe. I just cried.

But you were there. You were still there. Chiming in with sweet words once in awhile. You listened to me cry for minutes, and you told me it was going to be OK. That I was going to be OK. The world will keep on spinning and I will get through this and I will be OK.

Eventually it happened.

I wanted to thank you. For listening to me cry. Sometimes words fail you and they don’t really fulfill their purpose. As the saying goes, “When words fail, actions speak.” Sometimes what you need more than words filled with love is a reminder that someone is there. Someone cares for you. Someone loves you. Someone is willing to listen to you.

Thank you for being that someone to me, C.

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Thinkstock image by Aaron-H