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The Loneliness I Experience Because of My Trichotillomania


Everything written here, especially about relapse is oh so true — what I’ve felt over and over again through the years. To hear someone voice what I’ve felt gives me some relief and makes me want to cry, for you and me. I’ve never talked to anyone about it, I’ve just been alone with it.

I am 67 years old. I was just considered a freak when I was 8 years old and pulled my eyelashes and eyebrows out. Nobody ever asked me why or told me to stop. Over the years, I pulled everything out except my hair and for some reason last November, I started pulling it out. Now I don’t have any hair, anywhere. I’ve never met anyone like me and I always wanted to. But finding this group and hearing everyone’s story voicing everything I’ve felt but could never talk to anyone about makes me hate myself a little less. And I do hate myself. I’ve been so alone and I feel so much shame for what I’ve done to myself and each time I relapse. But now I know there really are others out there like me.

If you or a loved one is affected by body-focused repetitive behaviors, you can find resources at The TLC Foundation for Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.

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Thinkstock photo via berdsigns