What Reminds Me to Keep the Promise I Made in Eating Disorder Recovery

My mum hates tattoos, absolutely hates them.

“Why would you put something permanent on your body when you’ll only regret it later?”

So naturally, when I decided upon (and got) my tattoo, I was skeptical as to my mum’s reaction; but this one was important to me and I knew I would never regret it.

My tattoo was permanent and that’s just what I needed, and also why I waited until a certain point to get it done. That point was weight restoration; a point I had feared for so long, but a point I was desperate to reach in order to get my tattoo.

The eating disorder recovery symbol as the stem is to remind me that just as a flower’s stem is the beginning of their life, my recovery is the beginning of mine and I had so much to fill it with. The lotus flower grows from muddy waters — to me it represents that no matter what place you’ve come from, you can still be beautiful and good things can sometimes come out of murky waters.

Every time I’m struggling I look at my tattoo and I remind myself of the promise I made, to never go backwards, to use recovery as my stem and grow a beautiful, happy life from there.

And even my mum loves it.

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you can call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237.

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Unsplash photo via Daniel Spase

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