Why We Celebrate My Son's Neurodiversity
My son doesn’t have autism. He is autistic. This is part of who he is and his personality.
I agree with therapies to help the aspects of autism that cause difficulties, such as communication and life skills. My son is nonverbal. Many would say, “You wouldn’t feel that way if your son was on the ‘severe’ end of the spectrum.” Untrue. My son is “level 3” and nonverbal. Yes, I want him to be able to lead a functional life, but I don’t want to change him. Many would wish he made more eye contact or didn’t stim as much. Who does that bother? It doesn’t bother him, so I do not care. Let him rock to his heart’s content.
Having an autistic child has changed me as a person as well as our entire family. Having Cage in our lives has made us change our priorities and realize what is truly important. It has taught us acceptance and compassion. And to love everybody. I feel like God chose us to be his family. I think it had a lot more to do with us needing him rather than him needing us.
I believe he is exactly the person God intended him to be. Would you wish your adventurous child would be less adventurous? Or that your strong-willed child change? Why would you wish your child to be “less” autistic? Many aspects of their personalities that others may view as “faults” are the things that make them unique and may be the very things that help them on their journey. Sure, we have our bad days. I will not lie about that. But there are days my talkative daughter, Ravyn, is too much for me and days when my hard-headed son, Jett, sends me into full rage mom mode. But I would never want to stamp those aspects of their personality out. Why would I want to stamp out Cage’s autism when it is such a huge part of who he is?
We do not seek a “cure” or a way to “fix” his autism. If we somehow took away that aspect of his personality, he wouldn’t be the Cage we know and love. He is perfect exactly the way he is. We are all unique. We are proud of who we are and that’s why in our house we celebrate neurodiversity.
A version of this story originally appeared on Little Old Lady Who Lives in a Shoe.
Banner image via Getty: Benjavisa
Kelli Jo Blair is the mother of three children ages 5,6, and 7. Her youngest son is on the Autism spectrum. She has a Bachelors of Science degree in Psychology with a concentration in Autism Spectrum Disorder and developmental disabilities from Eastern Kentucky University. She is also involved in the community by starting a local support group called Eastern Kentucky ASD and SPD support group which can be found on Facebook.
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