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The Song Lyric That Helped Save My Life at My Lowest Point With Depression

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Editor's Note

If you experience suicidal thoughts, the following post could be potentially triggering. You can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741741.

Anyone who has been depressed before knows how hard it is to get yourself out of the rut and function like a “normal” productive member of society. I know because I spent the last week feeling close to tears every second, darkness clouding every thought I had and every moment of consciousness I had, feeling like I was losing myself and staring at a mirror and not recognizing the image reflected back to me.

I know because I am clinically depressed, and I would not have made it to today if not for a line of lyrics that gives me hope and strength.

This lyric is by Twenty One Pilots, from the song called “Truce.” The whole song is painfully honest and sings of silent courage to see tomorrow even if all you want to do is surrender yourself to the demons in your mind.

The lyric is: “The sun will rise and we will try again.”

In order to get out of a depressive episode and feel slightly better, the first step professionals assert is self-care and positive self-talk. This includes physical actions like taking a bath, having a decent meal that is not three-day-old potato crisps, changing your clothes, tidying your bed, and also finding your self-worth and the ability to tell yourself that it is OK to fall just as long as you get back up. These things feel close to impossible for anyone who is depressed. The trouble with depression is that to get better you need to be kind to yourself and yet depression makes you feel like you don’t deserve any kindness.

So this quote first and foremost reminds me it is OK for me to try again. “Try again,” meaning to fight the same demons over and over even if it tires me out and it’s the last thing I want to do. “Try again,” meaning to take things one at a time and accomplish them to the best of my ability. “Try again,” meaning forgive myself and allow myself a second chance and not beat myself up over a chemical imbalance in my brain that I have little to no control over.

The sun rising is a commonly used metaphor for better times and new beginnings, but for a lot of people with depression, the new day brings about dread and is enough to bring me to tears. Then I began to see this lyric from a completely different perspective. I began realizing that in order to see tomorrow, in order to stay alive, I had to romanticize the small things that kept me going. For example, eating pancakes on a Sunday morning, watching Netflix, petting a cat or whatever. And for some reason, the idea of things actually getting better was something I knew I had to believe in, in order for me to see tomorrow. This is called hope. It is difficult to hold on to hope because hope takes courage. Staying alive takes courage, but I’m learning how to have the quiet voice within me that tells me to try again tomorrow.

There is one more lyric from Twenty One Pilots, from the song called “Lovely,” that resonates well with this aforementioned line. It goes like this: “The only difference between life and dying / Is one is trying, that’s all we’re called to do.”

In depression, we beat ourselves up for not being like the rest. Why can’t I be happy? Why can’t I be normal? Why can’t I be grateful for what I have? We forget that being alive is truly the most important thing. We disregard our own efforts for making it through the day because we want to be more. This line from “Lovely,” in essence, asserts that if we’re trying our best to keep ourselves alive and not give in to suicidal thoughts and tendencies, then we’re doing enough. We are enough. We do not have to fault ourselves for not being the person we want to be, or the person others want us to be. This lyric accompanied with the one from “Truce” emphasizes a lot on self-compassion and taking baby steps to getting better. You do not need to be thrilled to be alive. In fact, you can be the exact opposite of thrilled, but you must never be the opposite of alive.

Lastly, the use of pronouns is especially comforting too. We know suicide is the second leading cause of death among 15-29-year-olds worldwide and we know how common depression is, yet ironically depression is one of the most isolating illnesses in the world. Depression makes us feel like we are alone, and to feel alone in such debilitating emotions and thoughts are incredibly scary. That’s where the use of the pronoun “we” comes in. With depression, you need perspective. This lyric has helped me realize that at this very moment, there are millions of people across the world feeling what I’m feeling. Thinking what I’m thinking. Yet all of these people are trying their best to hold on. All of these people are willing themselves to do better tomorrow, even if it’s not perfect. And I believe that when we know we are not alone in the struggles that plague us every day, it becomes just a little bit easier to cope.

I cannot count the number of times I have clicked on “Truce” on my playlist and listened to the simple yet hard-hitting lyrics — you should listen to the full song. These lyrics have saved my life on many occasions and prevented me from hurting myself. These lyrics have given me hope where depression has rendered me none.

But most importantly, these lyrics are now something I can pass on to you. The power of words and music is incredible, and I hope you find something that resonates with you, that keeps you fighting no matter how cruel life may be.

And if you cannot find your lyric, here; take this one I’ve just shared with you.

You are alive: there is still hope of the sun rising again.

You are alive, you can still try.

We can still try.

The sun will rise and we will try again.

Photo by luizclas from Pexels

Originally published: December 21, 2018
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