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My Son's Autism Diagnosis Did Not Changed Who He Is

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I sat in front of a person who curiously “described” you, as if he knew you for a lifetime.

He predicted your future, and even gave you a label.

My eyes searched for the crystal ball. It had to be somewhere. How could a person see your future in such a “clear” way without even knowing you?

Did he have a connection with the supreme being? How is it that he spoke as if he knew so much about you, much more than me, your mother, who has known you and loved you for the last 3 years of your life?

At what point did I miss so much? Where was I at all this time?

“Lady, your child has autism. That means he will hardly be able to talk, have eye contact with people or enjoy a social life.”

He implied my son would not be a playful child like the others, nor show affection. He said he will probably go to a special school, he may not be independent, and he will need several therapies for his behavior — but these therapies may not even work.

I left shocked. I dedicated myself to study, read and know everything about autism, because according to what I had been told, you were not the same boy as the one I knew. I felt I had to know everything about this “new” you, as well finding instructions to have a relationship with you. Different to what we already had.

I watched you day after day, and you were still you — the same as always.

Nothing had changed, not even with the new diagnosis.

Your smile was the same of always; the way you looked at me and connected with me was the same as every day. Your tenderness and affection also stayed the same.

I thought to myself, who could dare brake your wings and your free spirit with words that did not belong to you? Who, who is not God could tell me who you are?

That day, I accepted you completely.

That’s when I decided only you get to write what your future will be.

Getty image by rudall30

Originally published: January 13, 2019
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