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To the Parent of a Child With Down Syndrome: You Are Not Failing Them

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To the parent of a child with Down syndrome who isn’t walking at age 5: your child is not less and you are not failing them.

To the parent of a child with Down syndrome who isn’t talking at age 10: your child is not less and you are not failing them.

To the parent of a child with Down syndrome who can’t feed themselves yet: your child is not less and you are not failing them.

Hayley sitting in an old boat in the grass with her son.

To the parent of a child with Down syndrome who has just been told by a doctor that their development is years behind their peers: your child is not less and you are not failing them.

To the parent of a child with Down syndrome who goes to a special school: your child is not less and you are not failing them.

To the parent of a child with Down syndrome who can’t read or write: your child is not less and you are not failing them.

To the parent of a child with Down syndrome who has complex medical needs, a dual diagnosis or behavioral issues: your child is not less and you are not failing them.

Hayley's son who has Down syndrome sitting on a drum outside.

To the parent of a child with Down syndrome who may always need support and depends on you: your child is not less and you are not failing them.

To the parent of an adult who has Down syndrome who doesn’t work, needs support and depends on you: they are not less and you did not fail them.

We don’t need to prove to the world how capable our children are. We shouldn’t only celebrate when our children reach milestones at a typical time, like the more “normal” they are the better.

We don’t need to feel sorry for our children if they can’t do things society has decided they should. We just need to let our kids be exactly who they are meant to be and in their own time. We need to accept them for who they are and let that be enough.

We don’t need to prove to the world how “normal” they are or how they are really just like everyone else. We just need to show the world that different is OK.

Different is OK.

Hayley with her two sons.

Originally published: September 11, 2019
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