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How Cannabis Helped Me Finally Process My Trauma

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Editor's Note

Any medical information included is based on a personal experience. For questions or concerns regarding health, please consult a doctor or medical professional.

As a long time consumer of cannabis, I’ve found the benefits to be incredibly helpful in maintaining my bipolar disorder. In addition to medication, therapy and self-care, cannabis has allowed me to stay balanced in life and cope with my stressors. One particular experience with cannabis has helped me tremendously.

• What is Bipolar disorder?

Several weeks ago, I was smoking cannabis when I suddenly became overwhelmed with my emotions. I had recently identified a lifelong trauma I had been experiencing, but hadn’t yet faced the emotions that came with that discovery.

But on this night, I found myself so overwhelmed with emotions I went inside my house for privacy. My emotions exploded and I began to sob uncontrollably and moan with the pain I felt in my heart. I grieved the love I was never given and I grieved the relationships that were forever tainted with pain and emotional abuse.

With the help of cannabis, I felt my walls come tumbling down and I began to process the trauma I had experienced. For the first time, I was seeing myself from the outside looking in and I was able to recognize the abuse for what it was.

That night, I grieved the relationships of abuse and sobbed about my ongoing pain. I accepted that my abusers weren’t accidentally hurting me but were actually intentionally causing me pain. On this night, I became rigid in my decision to cut off contact with these people and I was finally able to protect myself after all these years.

Smoking cannabis on this night helped me process my trauma and I had an eye-opening discovery. The emotional episode allowed me to release the years of pain I had experienced and accept the experiences I have endured have been the result of emotional abuse.

Medicating with cannabis has greatly helped me in my battle with bipolar disorder and it’s allowed me to process emotions I struggled to process before. With the help of cannabis, I have finally identified my trauma and am now better equipped to protect myself. As cannabis has become more accepted and even legal recreationally in my region, I hope that more people will find cannabis to be beneficial for their health. The help of cannabis has been incredible and I am so grateful that it allowed me to think clearly and develop boundaries that I had failed to do so before. Cannabis allowed me to process my trauma and I will forever be grateful for that experience.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Originally published: November 18, 2019
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