How My Autism Awareness Has Changed Over 15 Years

I approach this Autism Awareness Month differently than I have in the past. It’s not mine anymore — it’s hers.  Don’t get me wrong, I will continue to fight for my daughter, Lizzie, every day, and I will openly share about our lives to help others understand the dire unmet needs of our community. But, living with my daughter on the autism spectrum for over 15 years has allowed my emotions to stabilize and a different perspective to set in.

This is how my Autism Awareness Month has changed over the years:

It has only been months since hearing the words, “Your daughter has autism.” I will “fix” my child and change the world in my free time! Everybody needs to know about autism and how they can help. I am going to set up a booth at the mall and talk to every person that comes by. Let’s also make t-shirts and raise money through a walk for autism!

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I know all the signs and have memorized the data. I won’t leave this mall play area until I screen every single kid. If you have a child that flaps, spins or walks on his tiptoes, you will receive a pamphlet. Early intervention is key, you know.

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Autism what? Awareness Day what? I haven’t slept a full night in over three years! I can’t even remember what year it is, much less what day it is! For us, it’s the same day every day.

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The judgment. The stares. The nasty things said to me about my daughter. Oh, that’s right — I will make you aware!

Why does this have to be my life forever? Yes, of course, I am aware. Stop talking about it already! I wish I wasn’t so aware every minute of every day. It hurts. It really, really hurts.

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This day should actually be about acceptance. It’s not about making anyone else aware, it’s about looking at the beautiful daughter I have right in front of me and loving her as she is.

Let’s use this day to celebrate my daughter’s gifts and the amazing things she can do. I want everyone to see the beauty she brings into the world. She’s smart, funny and such a hard worker!

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Don’t listen to me today. I’m not the one living it. Her voice matters, so let’s all just slow down and listen to what she has to say.

Lizzie: “Please be nice to me. All I want is to be included.”