The Mighty Logo

Why I'm Actually Feeling More Like Myself During This Time of Social Distancing

The most helpful emails in health
Browse our free newsletters

I used to be a partier. Whether throwing them or attending them, I loved to party with large amounts of people.

I used to plan hangouts, trips and anything involving friends as often as possible.

I used to be someone who I don’t even know anymore.

I respect and can still empathize with the people who are struggling with social distancing during the coronavirus pandemic. I respect and understand how you so badly want to gather with friends and celebrate all there is to celebrate in life.

I, however, am experiencing the opposite… I’m finally feeling peace and calm with social distancing. The grief I experienced from losing both my fiance and my brother created immense social anxiety for me, and without the obligation of daily interactions, I’m feeling more like me than I have in a long time. I no longer feel the guilt I constantly felt from avoiding or declining invitations to gatherings or parties because they are all canceled.

Since quarantine began, I have had more energy around the house to clean, cook, bake and play with my dog and children. I’ve brushed the dust off my old teacher materials that have been tucked away for years from when I was a teacher, and I’m happily teaching my children for homeschool since schools are closed. I’m staying up later, when I used to be in bed by 7:30 p.m., and enjoying television shows and movies again. I’m reading book after book and loving the escapism I feel with new characters.

During this pandemic, people are talking about real problems versus superficial problems and from what I’ve seen, there is more compassion and empathy being shown in the world. My attention span and concentration has improved with this change of dialogue. So often, I feel alone in my grief, depression and anxiety, but with quarantine and social distancing, we are all in the same boat (well separate boats of course… but in the same water) and I don’t feel so alone anymore.

Now of course I’m terrified of losing more loved ones, especially to COVID 19, but I’m doing everything I can to keep my immediate family safe. I am, however, no longer as terrified to lose someone to car accidents and suicide as I have been feeling, because I have experienced loses like that. Can it still happen? Absolutely. I’m not naive. But my anxiety is at bay, therefore my thoughts are more in my control. I’m no longer picturing every.possible.horrible.scenario in my head because I have inner peace in quarantine. And of course I love my friends, strangers, neighbors and extended family no matter how much anxiety I have… but anxiety is debilitating and I’m thankful to not be debilitated during this time.

I’m aware that this is probably an unpopular opinion, feeling and article. But I guarantee I’m not alone. I’m actually terrified about when all of this will be over and I’ve become so comfortable in my solitude bubble that I will be forced to conform to societal social norms again.

Let us be gentle to all, as we all have our own battles in the past, present and future. We will still need to be supportive when this is all over because for some of us, it will be the beginning again.

Concerned about coronavirus? Stay informed with these articles:

Photo by Mariano Nocetti on Unsplash

Originally published: April 6, 2020
Want more of The Mighty?
You can find even more stories on our Home page. There, you’ll also find thoughts and questions by our community.
Take Me Home