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What Epilepsy Looks Like Through My Eyes

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For 18 years, it has felt like I have been playing a round of golf every day. Unfortunately, it has just been my epilepsy. From preparing for numerous doctors’ appointments to handling clusters of seizures, epilepsy has taken a toll on me both mentally and physically. Every epilepsy journey is different, but I want to show you epilepsy as I see it through my eyes.

We Get Scared

At 9 years old, the battle became real. Waking up in that ambulance after my seizure was the first sign that it was time to go to work, both me and my family. Epilepsy provided me with challenges in my early years. None compared to the ones during my college years and into my working life.

Engraved in my mind forever will be the night I was taking punch after punch from my epilepsy in my dorm room. My emergency meds weren’t working and I quickly began looking up rides to the emergency room.

Seizures at work? Unfortunately, yes. I’ve been dealt with days of cluster seizures hitting up to 20. It’s experiences like these that make some of us want our epilepsy to go away forever.

It’s an Everlasting Journey

Epilepsy is not a sprint, it’s a lifelong marathon. Whether you’re two weeks or 20 years seizure-free, epilepsy to me is everlasting. Take a look at your phone’s calendar, odds are you probably have a few epilepsy-related appointments. For some, it could be simple check-ins, while others are circling that big day for their brain surgery.

Year after year, we spend time talking with doctors, professionals or counselors about our epilepsy. Do we enjoy it? Probably not. However, this is what helps us manage our epilepsy and adjusted lifestyle.

Find the Positives

I wish everyone could see that there are positives while living with epilepsy. We have such a strong community that is ready to help each other whenever they need it. Our community thrives when someone shares their amazing epilepsy story. It takes courage to share it, and we all applaud them for sharing it with everyone. I’ve made friends throughout the world within our community and I know each and every one of you can connect with people across the world. Our community makes us stronger and gives us the ability to inspire others day in and day out.

Everyone has a different perspective on epilepsy, but I’ve always been open about how I live with my epilepsy. This is how I see epilepsy through my eyes and live with it on a daily basis.

Originally published: December 16, 2020
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