Wife’s Post Shows How You Can Be Supportive of Partners With Chronic Illness
Everyone needs a support system, regardless of whether you have a chronic illness, but for those of us who do, we may need to lean a bit more on others. As a result, sometimes we can feel like a burden. After her husband was featured in a Humans of New York post where he talked about his struggles with Crohn’s disease, Crystal reacted to the post in a supportive way to remind him of everything he contributes to their relationship.
Humans of New York, a project where New Yorkers are photographed and then share a piece of their lives, featured the man on its page Tuesday. Over 120,000 people have reacted to his story.
“The symptoms didn’t start until I was seventeen. I was volunteering at a soup kitchen one day and I got such bad…
“Sometimes I can’t get out of bed. Other times I throw up blood,” he said. “I’ve gone through a lot of depression because of the pain. Honestly, if it wasn’t for my wife and kids, I might have ended it by now.”
He said he feels like he’s holding his wife back because he can’t do everything she wants to do. He mentioned how a weekend away in Seattle was spent on the couch because of his pain. The next time it was at Disneyland.
“It’s heartbreaking for my wife to see me go through it,” he told Humans of New York. “And it’s heartbreaking for me to put her through it. I feel like I’m holding her back. She’s so adventurous. She loves dancing, and traveling, and going out, and exploring. And I can’t do any of that.”
He said he hates being the “sick husband,” and Crystal is left to “pick up so much of the slack.” The pair have gone to marital counseling where he’s expressed feeling like a burden, but she’s swore that he’s not and loves him the way he is.
“I don’t know, man,” he said. “We’ve been through so much shit together. I guess she just really loves me.”
Crystal told The Mighty she felt overwhelmed and “flooded with feelings from our marriage and time together because we have been through some really hard seasons” after seeing the Humans of New York post.
“I have never wanted him to feel like him having a disease was a burden to me, and it was a moving reminder that he has internalized that.”
When Crystal re-shared the post, she pointed out the many ways he adds to her and their kids’ lives:
Despite your daily suffering, you rock our babies, comfort them when they are sad, make it to every dance recital and belt ceremony, SHOW UP for them every moment you can of every damn day… work your ass off so they can have the amazing life that they have… and for me you support my every random dream and whim, make me delicious food you can only look at and smell, bring me chocolate and flowers and write me hilarious and charming love notes. (And, lucky me, you are a STUD).
Check out this stud ????????????Edited to add: and despite your daily suffering, you rock our babies, comfort them when they…
Posted by Crystal on Tuesday, December 11, 2018
If you live with a chronic illness and you’re struggling, you’re not alone. Find support from others who understand what it’s like to have a chronic illness within The Mighty community. You can post a Thought or Question and use the hashtag #CheckInWithMe to find or send support to others.
Photo via Facebook/Humans of New York