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    Borderline= complicated

    Ugh... okay I was on the side of ever thinking I needed to ask advice on here. I mostly just lurk and take in what I find useful. I was diagnosed the end of my marriage and was never really challenged or tested with my BPD while in a relationship. Cause as soon as I got it... my husband bailed. But I finally after being in a 12 year toxic relationship then divorced and separated for 5. I've worked heavily on myself to understand what's going on with me. And I've managed to find some balance while alone. And decided to take up dating again. And found someone I really REALLY like. Because of circumstances we kinda pushed our relationship pretty fast but it all seemed to feel right. But I think in doing so I have also created an accidental favorite person situation. He's been so attentive and wanting to come over everyday and texting frequently. And now that we are almost to 3 weeks dating.. and life happens like it does all the clinging is starting to dwindle. But I've been spending 3 weeks being spoon fed that I'm worth being excited about and desirable and pursued... and it's not like he's even pulling back I think life is just balancing out we can't see eachother everyday he's got kids and a life and other things and hobbies of interest. But because I've been in a was feeling "pampered" and put on a "pedestal" for 3 weeks this leveling out is starting to feel like he's pulling away. And losing interest. And all I wanna do is ask and ask and ask for reassurance. I feel like a crazy person for being butt hurt that he's just living life and being normal while I'm over here thinking the love has died and that he's just sparing my feelings by not telling me the truth. And I'm just falling all over myself trying to save a situation that might not even exist. He hasn't shared any interest of leaving. He has reassured me countless times that he wants the long game. But I'm so damn used to liars being liars.. I feel he is too... like and I wanna talk to him about it.. but I am so scared of scaring him away. I know having mental illness doesn't make me crazy... but that stigma still exists. And I am so scared to ruin things with this person. I'm not ready to let go of him yet. If ever. I still want more time. I just wanna know any advice on what the best way to handle all this is. Therapy needs to happen I know but is complicated at the moment. How do I/ should I approach these findings and thoughts to him. How do I counter act the emotional feelings I have of feeling abandoned when he's not here or close to me. Just asking for any sort of tip. I wanna do this right. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #favoritperson #AvoidantPersonalityDisorder #CPTSD #Anxiety #Depression

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