Mixed Connective Tissue Disease (MCTD)

The “ Trolley Problem “ has been on my mind all day today …

It’s probably because , As I should have predicted yesterday’s infusion of 4mg of IV Copper ( instead of my usual 2mgs ) to treat my dangerously low copper levels that just won’t seem to rise .

Has not been my friend 🤢.

I’m one who hates to be still . But Ive spent all day in my bed sleeping or watching tv .

As I’ve been nauseous , felt like my throat and entire body has been attacked by sand gnats , I’ve had body aches beyond control , and exhaustion belief .

My nerdy little brain has been thinking over and over abb“ The Trolley problem “

If you don’t know what that is Wikipedia states that

“ The trolley problem is a series of thought experiments in ethicsand psychology, involving stylized ethical dilemmas of whether to sacrifice one person to save a larger number.”

I thought of how relates with some of the treatments I’ve had

With the big car being my future . Then current me would be tied to the tracks , completely and utterly being held against my will .

When I first started oral chemo ( for my connective tissue disease ). , my hair started falling out and my head rarely left the inside of a toilet .

My IVIG I need to stay alive due to my CVID has tried to kill me multiple times , and still tries to ,
( It causes anaphylactic reactions thanks to my Mast Cell Activation Syndrome )

And the reaction I’m having to copper on this higher dose is everything an IVIG reaction minus the part where my throat closes off ( thank goodness )

Often it feels like I’ve had to a sacrifice what I want my life to be , So that big train can drive through

Sometimes we have to sacrifice the comfort and convenience we CRAVE now ( often leaving us feeling like we got hit by a train )
So big beautiful things can “arrive “ to our future

And in my case , so I can have a future at all .

So here is to suffering , that leads us to a big beautiful someday

Keep going ❤️

#RareDisease #copperdeficency #Infusion #MastCellActivationDisorder #CommonVariableImmuneDeficiency #MixedConnectiveTissueDiseaseMCTD #IVIG

I have Mixed Connective Tissue Disease, Lupus SLE, Fibromyalgia