youth suicide

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TW: Suicide Awareness and Question

If suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death GLOBALLY, from ages 15-24
Why not implement mandatory mental health classes like it’s just as important as physical health in high schools? I meant potentially, a life-saving class? I’m sick of feeling helpless, how do we effect change?

#MentalHealth #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SuicideAwareness #SuicidePrevention #SuicideSurvivor #physicalhealth #YouthSuicide #Education

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what is considered your best day ever?? #YouthSuicide

My best day ever is whenever I feel energetic or happy. For instance, today I feel like I can do anything, like there is nothing in this world that can stop me from doing whatever I want. I feel so energetic that I just want to dance for once 😂😂. I love it when I feel this way because most of the time, every day in my life, I hardly am happy. I’m always mostly in emotional pain, sad, depressed, lethargic, angry, and lastly suicidal. Today however, feels very different and I’m happy that I don’t feel this way. If I had a chance to be happy for one day, I’d take that chance. I really hope, I will continue feeling this way everyday in my life because I love it and it always feels like I forgot about my emotional pain. Being happy and energetic everyday, would actually be the best Christmas present ever. I hated when I feel depressed, sad, and suicidal. Anyway, what is considered your best day ever???

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what is considered your best day ever?? #YouthSuicide

My best day ever is whenever I feel energetic or happy. For instance, today I feel like I can do anything, like there is nothing in this world that can stop me from doing whatever I want. I feel so energetic that I just want to dance for once 😂😂. I love it when I feel this way because most of the time, every day in my life, I hardly am happy. I’m always mostly in emotional pain, sad, depressed, lethargic, angry, and lastly suicidal. Today however, feels very different and I’m happy that I don’t feel this way. If I had a chance to be happy for one day, I’d take that chance. I really hope, I will continue feeling this way everyday in my life because I love it and it always feels like I forgot about my emotional pain. Being happy and energetic everyday, would actually be the best Christmas present ever. I hated when I feel depressed, sad, and suicidal. Anyway, what is considered your best day ever???

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I might confess to my parents #YouthSuicide

I’ve been in pain and have been suicidal for almost a decade. I’ve tried various ways to run from the pain and make sure I forget about those painful memories that still haunt me from this day. I’ve endured this pain for far too long and I don’t think I can fight this alone anymore. It’s very clear that the pain I’m going through is affecting my life. It’s affecting my emotions, my school grades, and my self esteem. I’m tired of carrying this pain and I cannot take this anymore. I think I might tell my parents that I need professional help. I haven’t decided on telling my parents yet but I will soon when I have the chance. When I have the chance to be alone with my stepdad, I will confess to him first. I just don’t know if this is the right decision for me because I still have doubts that no one will understand what I’m going through and no one will be able to find a way to heal me. Wish me luck that I will have the confidence to finally ask for help. I don’t feel comfortable talking about this with someone in person so I’ll probably most likely tell them very few details. I hope I do have the chance to be alone with my stepdad to tell him. Anyway, I hope all of you enjoy your day and merry Christmas to everyone.

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Is it wrong and selfish if I feel this way?? #YouthSuicide

I don’t know if what I’m feeling is selfish or wrong but for some reason I just wish I had all the attention. Sometimes even I feel guilty for having that feeling. It’s because when I look at other people, they’re always with friends while I’m just left out. I feel like I’m not even getting as much as attention as anyone. I don’t know why I feel this way but it does make me feel guilty. I sometimes compare myself to other people. Even though I already have friends, I still feel left out for some reason. Those friends of mine hardly ever talk to me. Is what I’m feeling selfish??

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#YouthSuicide

I’m 17 years old and I have been suicidal since I was probably 9. I don’t really know exactly how long I’ve been suicidal so I’m only saying I’ve probably been that way since I was 9. I’ve been this way because everyday in my life, I have to avoid having painful thoughts and memories from my past. Each time I get those negative thoughts and bad memories I always repeat, “Don’t think about it, Don’t think about it!!” Whenever this technique doesn’t work I usually just hit myself on the head hoping that those painful memories and thoughts would go away. Mostly everyday I also just read a book or do something that’ll keep me distracted from the pain. The pain I’m going through is a pain I can’t describe and trust me it hurts. It hurts so much that sometimes I just wish I could kill myself because I just want this pain to go away. It’s as if I’m being forced into making a decision I don’t want to make. This indescribable pain has indeed affected the way I live. It’s affecting my school grades entirely, affecting my emotions, and affecting my self esteem. The only reason why I don’t seek professional help is because I don’t think anyone would understand what I’m going through. Even I don’t understand why I feel this way. I get doubts that if I get professional help, these professionals will not be able to find out what wrong with me. So instead I just chose to fight this pain alone. No one except you guys knows I’m suicidal and I’ll probably keep it that way. Everyday, I have to keep fighting this unbearable pain I’m going through. That’s why my reading habit is highly compulsive. So pretty much I’ve dealt with this unbearable pain by simply distracting myself everyday. I’m not sure how long I’m going to remain feeling this way but I hope someday this pain does go away. What I want more than anything in this world is for this pain to go away. I honestly hope I’ll have the guts to ask for help someday. My own doubts consume me and keep me from doing the right decision. All I just want is for people to listen and be able to understand what I’m going through. I feel much better talking about my indescribable pain and emotions, anonymously. Thanks for listening and I hope you all enjoy your Christmas.

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My Pain has taken over my life #YouthSuicide

Honestly, I think my own pain that I’ve always felt is clearly taking over my whole life. It’s affecting my grades slowly and now they have gone from good to very bad. Right now I had my progress report and I’m failing a total of 7 classes. Obviously my parents don’t even know I’m failing mostly because I make sure they don’t know nothing about my grades. I frankly don’t care about school nor my grades anymore because I hate my life and I hate this world. I really want to end my own life super bad but for some reason I refuse to make that decision. So I have to live with this pain, every single day. I have to carry this pain like a man carrying a boulder. The only thing that comforts me is reading books and pretending to be someone else on the internet. It comforts me because it makes me feel like I’m somebody else and that I’m in a different world where I no longer feel the pain. That’s probably why I’m addicted to reading books a lot, they’re like painkillers to me. My reading behavior is like super compulsive that I will read 24/7 and I don’t give a damn if I’m supposed to be doing my homework or school work. I’m sick of living my life, I’m just done. As much as I hate this world and my life, I know I have to focus on getting better grades at school. So that’s why this month, I’m trying to limit myself from reading too much. I don’t want my parents to find out about my school grades because then they’ll probably end up punishing me by taking away my phone. Taking away my phone will not encourage me to do my school work, it’ll just make me feel even worse and make feel even more sad/depressed. If my phone was taken away right now, I would probably end up staying in my room isolated while hoping and praying I could just die already. If I lived 1 month without my phone, I would start getting sad and chose to be isolated. I will probably remain that way to the point where I would probably start cutting myself hoping that this would relief my pain. My phone is my pain reliever, it comforts me. So yeah, that’s why I have to try to get good grades. That’s also how my parents never find out about my school grades. I always make sure, I get at least a 70 that way my parents won’t know. I obviously don’t want my parents finding out about my school grades because I know what they’ll do if they find out. I hate my life and I probably will continue feeling this way. No one will ever understand what I’m going through. That’s why I chose to battle this pain by myself without seeking professional help. I hope someday my pain will permanently go away. My pain may be eating my life away but I’m grateful that I’m still alive today. The only reason why I wish I were dead is because I view suicide as an only answer to get rid of my pain. It also explains why I refuse to make that terrible decision because part of me still believes that there is a much better choice to make than committing suicide. Therefore, I’m grateful that I’m still alive.

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#YouthSuicide

God I’ll probably never understand what I’m going through nor why am I feeling this way. I can’t really describe the pain very well but I can use examples. The pain I feel is the same pain anyone would feel if they saw their mother die or if someone you still love is with someone else. I feel like I don’t even belong in this world. I feel like I was just born by a mistake. Sometimes I think maybe it’s better if I no longer live so I won’t suffer from all this pain. Almost everyday I have to run from the pain because it hurts so much. I can’t stand this pain anymore. I’m like so desperate that the only solution I see is suicide but for some reason part of me refuses to make that decision. It’s like there’s a part of me that still refuses to give up even though to me my whole world has been nothing but pain. So since that part of me still refuses to give up, I have to just basically live a life ignoring and finding ways to help me forget about the pain or relief my pain. I honestly hate this world and I hate my life. Every time I see other people with a group of friends in school I just sometimes wish I could switch lives with them because I hate my life. If I had the chance to switch lives with someone, I would. That’s why I read a lot of books and pretty much why I pretend to be someone else on the internet. Whenever I read books, I feel like I’m in a different world. It’s like I switched lives with the main character. Pretending to be someone else on the internet makes me feel the same way. When I pretend to be someone else, I feel like I’m someone different and I’m in a much better world in a better life. Reading books and pretending to be someone I’m not in the internet doesn’t just help me escape this world it also reliefs my pain. I honestly don’t know why I feel this way but I’ve felt this way for like a long time. My reading addiction has pretty much gotten worse and worse. In fact, it’s so compulsive that it’s clearly affecting my school grades slowly. Reading books is like a drug to me. Typically teenagers these days use drugs as a way to relief their pain but me, however, I use books as a way to relief my pain. I really don’t even want to be in this world. I wish I could just be in a different world or switch lives with someone. I wish I was born in a life where I won’t feel lonely and have a lot of friends. But the hard truth is that I’ll probably never get that wish and I’ll probably remain feeling this way for the rest of my life. I honestly wish I could stop feeling this way but for some reason I just can’t. I feel so hopeless right now. One thing I’m very greatful about myself is that I’m still alive and that I haven’t given up. I’m grateful that part of me still refuses to make the bad decision which is attempting suicide. I don’t really know how long I will it take for me to give up but I do hope I continue carrying this pain alone. I hope I don’t commit suicide. I just want this pain to go away. I really hope it does go away.

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Why do I feel this way?? #YouthSuicide

Whenever I’m angry or sad, I always feel like I don’t want to live. I have attempted suicide before but that was out of rage.
I don’t understand why I’m like this. Whenever my parents yell at each other or yell at me or my siblings I get angry. The more they yell the more rage is fueled inside me. Whenever my parents yell, I get random thoughts about what I would do if they yelled at me. One of those thoughts are threatening suicide or destroying objects out of rage. Another thing that I don’t understand is why do bad memories from the past still keep bothering me. No matter how hard I try, I cannot forget those memories. The memories I keep getting are those memories when my mother or father yelled at me or called me stupid. Those memories were the times when I was very sad or angry. Thinking about those memories make me feel angry at my parents. The last thing I never understood is why do I feel like I wish I could switch lives with someone. Whenever I look at other people and see how there life is, I sometimes wish I could switch lives with that person because I think that there life is better than mine. I just don’t understand why I feel this way. I don’t know if what I’m going through is even normal but whatever it is, it’s hurting me. I carried this pain for almost a decade and I’m not sure how long I will last. I just hate being suicidal. I wish I could stop feeling this way whenever I’m in a bad mood but there’s nothing I can do about it. Sometimes I wish I could talk to someone who would understand what I’m going through but the truth is, I don’t believe no one will understand. I have my doubts and fears.