I’m numb. Confused. Lost. Stuck. Wandering. Blank. Aching. Need constant direction at work for example. I can’t focus on what to do and where to go but need money for me and my husband. I’m embarrassed to tell him I may need disability benefits… I feel ashamed and I feel hopeless about this situation. I try but after an insanely scary event in March 2020 where I lost my mind in a manic episode, nothing has been the same. I’m detached from this world. If I couldn’t even know where the heck I was during that episode and blacked out, how much more then am I not fully.. there… aware now..