Teenya.marie.1983

@blueteenya83
Community Voices

All these medications and questions can anyone help me?

I have been a mental health guinea pig my whole life. I have been on 20 different medications that have not worked or made me worse. I see a new psychiatrist in a couple days, how can I properly ask her to try the new medications on the market? #Anxiety #BPD #MentalHealth #Depression

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Community Voices

Addiction,mental health and not being taken seriously

I'm a recovering addict. I have struggled with mental health and trauma as long as I can remember. I am trying to put my life back together, I work 2 jobs, I'm a wife and a mom. I have over a year clean but my past still haunts me when it comes to my ability to get proper mental health treatment. I know what works for me and what doesn't but yet I keep being told I need to give certain meds another try. It is so frustrating, I'm not pill seeking, I have crushing anxiety, depression, bpd, the list goes on. So bc my addiction started with pain medication from a car accident yrs ago, they treat me like I will abuse every single pill they prescribe. The ignorance makes me crazy. I try to understand, and I kind of get it but I don't want to keep getting worse while they check off a bunch of pills I've already used and make me a test rat to try and prove me wrong. Doctor's don't always know what's best. And I'm tired. The longer this takes the more the suicide ideation happens, bc what's the point?#mentallyexhausted

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Community Voices

Sitting here, just trying to take away the pain. It's been thirty five years since I was raped at school, thirty four years since I started drinking heavily to fill the emptiness inside me, but it never ever works. Having borderline personality disorder and psychotic depression, I just feel like a thin shell around a gaping void that is me, the me inside.

I fill this empty void with emptiness, as nothing else works. I get really drunk, really stoned to the point that I lose all ability to think, as that is the only way I know how - my broken and flawed coping mechanisms; deal with Nothingness by being Nothing.

Do I want this to get better? It won't, no matter how they say BPD is curable, as all I've ever found to work in dealing with this emptiness is the sweet oblivion that substance abuse brings. So this is me now, a high functioning alcoholic and drug addict, self medicating myself to the point when the yawning darkness inside me is placated, fighting the storm inside. #BPD #Survivor #thebadsideofbpd

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Community Voices

Has anyone had much luck in sticking to employment or school for long term? This is always a struggle for me and ppl tell me im lazy bc of it

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