Charisma

@charismaa
Hello there, I’m a mess
Community Voices

Eating issues

My family, school, and CAMHS are all aware that my eating is not exactly healthy. However my weight remains at a normal BMI despite eating less than 1000 calories a day, running almost daily, calorie counting and weighing myself a lot, and setting weight goals that I know are very unhealthy. I beat myself up if I go above 1000 calories - even if it's a rare occurrence and I'm constantly feeling my ribs and hips in the hope that my bones will be sticking out more. I don't know what this means but I feel it's not exactly healthy. Does anyone have any advice? #EatingIssues

5 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Eating issues

My family, school, and CAMHS are all aware that my eating is not exactly healthy. However my weight remains at a normal BMI despite eating less than 1000 calories a day, running almost daily, calorie counting and weighing myself a lot, and setting weight goals that I know are very unhealthy. I beat myself up if I go above 1000 calories - even if it's a rare occurrence and I'm constantly feeling my ribs and hips in the hope that my bones will be sticking out more. I don't know what this means but I feel it's not exactly healthy. Does anyone have any advice? #EatingIssues

5 people are talking about this
Community Voices

What TV shows are you hooked on right now?

<p>What TV shows are you hooked on right now?</p>
621 people are talking about this
Community Voices

What TV shows are you hooked on right now?

<p>What TV shows are you hooked on right now?</p>
621 people are talking about this
Community Voices

What TV shows are you hooked on right now?

<p>What TV shows are you hooked on right now?</p>
621 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Does anyone have flare ups when you are on your monthly cycle? How do you cope/handle it? #Fibromyalgia #POTS

Every month on my cycle I have insomnia, fibro flare ups that cause so much pain, my heart rate which usually only goes up to about the 130’s with my POTS, goes to the 160’s to 180’s, and a migraine pretty much the whole time. I had an endometrial ablation done last year because my cycles were so heavy. They thought it would help but it has only gotten worse. I now only go about 10-14 days a month without bleeding and they are still really heavy. I’m supposed to go see my GYN next month and I’m thinking of asking for a partial hysterectomy to see if that might help.

Suggestions please!!

4 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Fighting it (the days when you feel like you can)

This whole week, I haven't slept well. I took 2 melatonin pills last night to hope it would help me sleep. I still woke up numerous times throughout the night, and spent a good 2 hours tossing & turning. I felt irritated yesterday, and I could tell it would carry on into today. I woke up around 10 am today, and then fell back asleep for another hour, until I finally got out of bed.
I had breakfast, and then I went back to my room, and wished I could escape the world. I just wanted to get away from everything and everyone, and the one person I did want to be with couldn't be there because he was working. While being back in bed for about 45 minutes after my breakfast and chai, I kept thinking about all of the things I need to do...and how much I didn't want to do them, and felt I couldn't do them.

I've recently tried to start going to the gym regularly and work out to try to improve my health. I think the biggest thing about actually keeping consistent with my workouts is just feeling accomplished, and living with the #ChronicPain of #Fibromyalgia, it's really hard to actually feel that way. Normally, I feel like I'm barely getting by. But when I work out, I feel like I've accomplished something, and I've fought my body. And when my fibromyalgia flares, my #Depression and #Anxiety get worse -- which doesn't really help any type of relationship. Working out makes me feel like a #warrior and feels like I'm actually fighting my depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia, and whatever other symptoms I'm facing that day.

After being in bed for near an hour after already having breakfast, I decided to attempt to fight the bad day I felt coming on. I knew if I stayed in bed, my depression would make me feel empty, and my anxiety would lead me to question my relationship and friendships and the way my family views me. I couldn't deal with those #irrational #Thoughts today.
I got out of bed and jumped on the stationary bike and rode it for 30 minutes. Then I came back to my room and did a #blogilates hip hop cardio beat work out. I took a shower, and then cleaned my room a little bit.
I still don't feel that great, but I'm glad I fought when I could.

There are some days when I know I don't have the fight in me, and that's okay. But I also know there are days when I could have fought it, but I don't want to use the energy I have to do that, and just let the bad day happen. Today, I took control. & that felt damn good! In a way, it feels silly to feel so proud of myself over something that may seem trivial to others, but I'm getting to the point that I'm pushing those thoughts out of my head now too. Even if it's trivial to others, it's a big deal for me, and I deserve to feel proud of myself for it.

I hope that on the days you feel you have energy to fight the pain & the darkness, you take that opportunity. Then, let yourself feel proud of your accomplishments, however big or however "small." Celebrate them because you deserve that!
 #FibroCHRONICals

5 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Any tips for getting off of Cymbalta successfully? #Fibromyalgia #ChronicFatigueSyndrome

It helps my pain and fatigue just enough to get out of bed and keep my job, but it doesn’t help that much! I’m afraid of the consequences of going off of it but the side effects are no good. It definitely makes my hypervigilance and fibro fog worse, among other side effects. This isn’t sustainable.

4 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I love this site! It is one of my favorites and I come back all the time searching for help and answers and just someone who understands what I'm going through.
I feel crazy all the time, but especially today! I wake up with panic attacks everyday and most of the time I can’t pinpoint why. It’s especially worse today because when I have to actually leave the house for an appointment or something I panic. Today is the dreadful diagnostic mammogram I have been putting off for months! It’s really no be deal, I’ve had several of them, but a few years ago I had a whopper of an infection in my breast so now I always need to get the longer diagnostic test. So I know that is part of my panic; leaving the house is part of my panic, but I made it to the waiting room writing this so that's a big step.
I have worked hard trying to learn to meditate (I have almost all the meditation apps) but it doesn't always work-a lot of times it makes things worse! I take Diazepam to help with the anxiety, but most of the time it doesn't work that well if at all. I've seen a variety of therapists, but I'm not a good patient. I feel talking about all my problems and then having to ruminate about them to "make me feel better" just makes things worse. The only way I really function is by distraction. I watch way too much TV. I also read a lot to keep me distracted from my life.
What is stupid is I have an adoring husband who loves me beyond measure and is one of those angels sent from God who believes that I have all the problems I suffer with (I also suffer from depression, Fibromyalgia, trauma, ADHD, chronic pain and fatigue) so I’m a mess.
Sorry for all the babbling and TMI for that matter.

I'm just wondering if anyone is suffering from really bad panic attacks upon waking nearly everyday and usually there is no reason I can consciously find for my panic/anxiety?
And thanks for reading/replying! #Fibromyalgia #Fibromyalgia #ChronicMigraines #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #ChronicFatigue #ADHD #Migraine

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Community Voices

Uncomfortably Numb

It’s hard knowing I have been sad and angry for years

I feel like I’m staring at a wall waiting for my life to change, for me to become stronger, for me to be happy

I should feel happy I am finally getting surgery in April

But I am so tired

So unmotivated

So helpless

So numb

Sometimes I look up to the sky and watch birds fly by and think

They are so carefree

So calm

So elegant

Years have been spent away from holy alters

Years have been spent with a cane in hand

Years have been spent canceling plans because of pain

Years have been spent looking at my reflection aimlessly

Looking for my soul

Looking for my lost heart

Looking for the remnants of a brain anxiety and chronic pain lessened

“People don’t realize how much you hide your pain Kerry because you are so positive all the time”

I have to be

I just have to

#Anxiety #Stress #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #College #anger #Sadness #RareDisease #Neuropathy #Anteriortarsaltunnelsyndrome #CheckInWithMe #MightyPoets

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