Marc C

@chipkicker42
I am a 44 year old male who is off of work because of a back injury and because of my mental health issues. I have suffered from Anxiety and Depression for as long as I can remember and within the last few years I have been diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar 2. Those diagnosis helped me understand why I had trouble keeping jobs. My resume is so bad now that it's not just my back keeping me off of work. How do I help my family now?
Community Voices

Failure

I've come to accept that the best part of my life was from about age 12-17. From then on its been nothing but #failure , #Anxiety , #Depression , #SuicidalThoughts , #Bipolar2Disorder and finally a #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder diagnosis. Somehow I found the perfect woman to love me unconditionally, but we had a son together and I've come to realize I never should have had a kid. I love him more than anything, but he's just like me and I have to watch him go through all of this, which is so much worse than going through it myself. I don't know what to do because he refuses any kind of help, just like I used to. I'm in a living hell...

6 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Failure

I've come to accept that the best part of my life was from about age 12-17. From then on its been nothing but #failure , #Anxiety , #Depression , #SuicidalThoughts , #Bipolar2Disorder and finally a #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder diagnosis. Somehow I found the perfect woman to love me unconditionally, but we had a son together and I've come to realize I never should have had a kid. I love him more than anything, but he's just like me and I have to watch him go through all of this, which is so much worse than going through it myself. I don't know what to do because he refuses any kind of help, just like I used to. I'm in a living hell...

6 people are talking about this
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Question

How do you not let people bring you down?
Feeling the blues again. #Depression #Anxiety

14 people are talking about this
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Though time #

I am really struggling with my depression and PTSD. I cannot get past the idea that I somehow caused my abusers to abuse me. I feel guilty and I have no self esteem. Flashbacks remind me of the hell I went through several times a day. PTSD makes my depression and anxiety worse. I feel like I am falling deeper into my black hole. Cutting no longer is a release and suicide seems to be the only way to get out of my pain.

10 people are talking about this
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This Disease Is Awful! #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

I was doing just fine. I don't have a job because I had surgery on my back, so I tried to start an Affiliate Marketing business, which of course I got way to overly excited about. I took a course and studied all I could before I started, I even have my own Facebook Channel all about losing weight without exercise. I was so overconfident that I was going to make money.

It's been 3 months now and I haven't made a thing. Then all of a sudden it triggered my mood swings, anxiety and depression all at once! I feel like a complete failure, AGAIN! I can't seem to do anything right because I get so overwhelmed in my head and forget things, then it all gets messed up. I just hate what life does to me!

3 people are talking about this
Community Voices

This Disease Is Awful! #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

I was doing just fine. I don't have a job because I had surgery on my back, so I tried to start an Affiliate Marketing business, which of course I got way to overly excited about. I took a course and studied all I could before I started, I even have my own Facebook Channel all about losing weight without exercise. I was so overconfident that I was going to make money.

It's been 3 months now and I haven't made a thing. Then all of a sudden it triggered my mood swings, anxiety and depression all at once! I feel like a complete failure, AGAIN! I can't seem to do anything right because I get so overwhelmed in my head and forget things, then it all gets messed up. I just hate what life does to me!

3 people are talking about this
Community Voices

HELP

I have been married (luckily) for 14 years to the most wonderful woman on earth. That being said because of suffering with BPD/ADHD/bipolar 1/paranoia/severe anxiety I have completely broken this wonderful woman down again and again.
I have also had pornagraphy problem since I was about 13. She has caught me multiple times but I was too ashamed to fess up, due to fear and embarrassment. Our struggles have always been able to be worked through some what.

Well last night I tried something daring and extremely hard for me. I want to get better so I wanted to talk to my wife about everything I have done to her and finally truly deal with it. Long story short it all came out how much I was watching porn. All she saw was 14 years of her life wasted on me( a liar, monster, demon, worthless and will never change). All I want to do now is just die already and give this world and especially her a life that's better without me. I am in great need here, all my previous cuts and suicide attempts have been from rage or blackouts. This feeling is so overwhelming I just can't.
Also these 2 post I have put up have my anxiety through the roof. I want to get better and be the Godly husband she needs. But now it's just hopeless and I don't think I can do this suffering anymore. This is what I get for going outside my comfort zone #hopeless #BPD

8 people are talking about this
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It isn't our fault

Having bpd is like a living hell at times always battling with the terrible illness which has been caused by someone else and who doesn't care about the damage they've caused and still causing. Having no or very little support. I live in hope that I might get help

7 people are talking about this
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Would anyone share some BPD symptoms that aren’t spoken about? I’d love to hear how it can differ person to person

For instance in my experiences, I will..
constantly buy gifts, my partner will be the centre of my world. I struggle to finish one chore because of being distracted into doing another half way through the first. Memory loss during conversation. Being easily distracted/attention span of a goldfish. Memories are always fuzzy, never clear. Finding TV draining because sensitive emotions mean I can’t take anything lightly. Reoccurring stressful dreams (possibly due to medication)
Thankyou for your time :) I hope you are all looking after your bodies & minds! Sending some strength to you today 🌸🌼🌷

12 people are talking about this
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I was doing so good

I can feel so excited sometimes (overly excited). I'm off work because I hurt my back and had to get a couple surgeries, and I'm still in pain. So I decided to sign up for an online affiliate marketing course and start my own business. I was so (overly) motivated.

I did everything I was supposed to do and more. They said put 1-2 hours a day into it, and I was literally putting 10-12, including weekends. Now it's 3 months later and I haven't made a thing! It just hit me like a ton of bricks today, I am such a failure! I fail at everything I do! What's the point?

1 person is talking about this