Gil

@collazogp
I am 64, have prostate cancer and classified as MDD an SMI depending on which DR you ask. Father of 4 with grandchildren an a Great grandchild. Dealing with what comes my way as best I can.
Community Voices

Music

What are some songs that you help you stay grounded?
#Depression
#Anxiety
#PTSD

76 people are talking about this
Joy Harrod

4 Effects of Depression We Don't Talk About

Having struggled with numerous severe and enduring episodes of depression over the last five or so years, I feel as though I’ve built up an in depth understanding of the illness. A lot of the educational material online about depression focuses primarily on the classic symptoms which would lead to diagnosis. However there isn’t as much available material on some of the consequences and symptoms of depression I feel are some of the hardest to cope with. Here are four things I find hardest about depression: 1. Loss of identity. Depression is a cruel illness that can cause a person to lose their sense of self. This can happen in a number of ways and usually is a result of a combination of factors such as going on sick leave from work, having to leave your job completely, isolation caused by inability to participate in social events, increased anxiety, pushing people away and so on. I felt a complete loss of identity when I became unfit for work, which subsequently meant I lost my job. I didn’t have the motivation or energy to participate in anything social, and therefore became a bit of a loner. I didn’t want to be around friends or family because I didn’t feel worthy of their love. My anxiety levels became unbearable and at one point I struggled to leave the house or my room when I was in the psychiatric hospital. I had no idea who I was anymore; the happy, outgoing, fun and loving person I once was had disappeared. This new version of me was not a good replacement. 2. Impact on relationships. Nobody really tells you or prepares you for the earth shattering impact depression can have on your other half. Sometimes they change roles from being your lover to your carer, and romance takes a back seat. I’m yet to meet a moderately to severely depressed person who has sex with their partner as often as they used to. For a couple that has been together for many years and once had a healthy sex life, this “dry” spell, which could last weeks to months or sometimes years, understandably has an impact on the relationship. The sense of closeness and attraction can completely disappear, and it can almost become as though the romance was never there. I shouldn’t put words in others’ mouths, but I suspect there was a lot of hidden frustration and resentment going on through the worst of it. However it’s not all doom and gloom, going though depression can bring couples closer and strengthen the bond even further. 3. Guilt. I don’t see much literature on guilt being an issue for people with depression. Although there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or to feel guilty for, the fact is guilt still occurs and there’s no point ignoring it. I’ve never felt such strong guilt in my life before depression hit, the guilt I felt exacerbated my self-loathing to a whole new level. Here’s a few thing I felt guilty for: not working, claiming benefits, not being able to keep on top of housework, not going on long dog walks, not having an interest in sex, putting my loved ones through the sadness and worry that comes with loving someone with depression, staying in bed, only having one shower a week, not going to church, not going out with friends, not doing my volunteering role, not cooking and if I’m honest, I felt guilty I was alive and people had to witness the ongoing death of my personality. 4. Frustration. Thankfully I was saved by the continued love and support of my partner, friends and family. While I was in hospital I did come close to losing myself completely in mind and body, and without the admission which was forced upon me, I wouldn’t be alive. Slowly I became human again and started to eat and drink properly, my medication was changed and I had regular chats with the occupational therapist on the ward. After a lengthy admission, I was able to return home to my wonderful partner and my beautiful dogs. Sadly recovery isn’t an overnight process and because I had gone so deep into depression, I had to relearn the basics and build up my stamina. I’m not exaggerating when I say opening a tin of dog meat was absolutely exhausting. Over time I built my strength up and I have to say, it was one of the most frustrating processes ever. I still struggle with mundane things today and I’ve been out of hospital for over half a year. I still find cooking, cleaning, self-care, exercise, being sociable and enjoyment really difficult. And it’s so annoying, for example, when simply washing a pot is so hard. Why can’t I just do it like everybody else manages to? I don’t even work, and the minute I do I’m still too exhausted to do it. Recovering from a severe episode of depression is a long, tiring and frustrating process, but I fully believe it’ll be worth it. These are the struggles I have faced, please remember we are all unique and experience symptoms and challenges differently. Some of you reading this may relate, and some may think it’s nothing like what you experienced with depression. Whatever stage you’re at in your illness, please remember there is hope and it won’t always feel this bad. Keep going and don’t give up. If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page. If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text “START” to 741-741 . We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here . Image via Thinkstock

Community Voices

I feel like my life been depression!

What do you do when you have fear, anxiety and depression with suicidal thoughts almost on a regular basis. Been raised being told your handicapped and worthless. Ignored by family members and not accepted by them. Lies being told by your own parent so others will distance themselves from you, even family. I had once thought I had finally had a big change in my life an life would be better. Only to lose someone who made a difference to suicide. That brought it all back even worse than before, feeling I had no right to exist. Nightmares, suicide attempts, heart attacks and more physical ailments. I don't know why or what I am doing. I still put up a face an tell others what they want to hear. When I try to get out there, I only get lied too, stolen from an used. I just want to be away from everyone an trying to deal day to day.

3 people are talking about this
Community Voices

50+?

I’m new to the site, and curious if there are any other 50+ers dealing with #Depression , #Anxiety , and/or #Grief ? If so, interested in connecting/forming group for support?

16 people are talking about this
Community Voices

What was the defining moment or incident that made you seek treatment for PTSD?

<p>What was the defining moment or incident that made you seek treatment for PTSD?</p>
32 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I feel like my life been depression!

What do you do when you have fear, anxiety and depression with suicidal thoughts almost on a regular basis. Been raised being told your handicapped and worthless. Ignored by family members and not accepted by them. Lies being told by your own parent so others will distance themselves from you, even family. I had once thought I had finally had a big change in my life an life would be better. Only to lose someone who made a difference to suicide. That brought it all back even worse than before, feeling I had no right to exist. Nightmares, suicide attempts, heart attacks and more physical ailments. I don't know why or what I am doing. I still put up a face an tell others what they want to hear. When I try to get out there, I only get lied too, stolen from an used. I just want to be away from everyone an trying to deal day to day.

3 people are talking about this
Community Voices

New here

I joined because I’m at the point in my life that I can’t deal with it anymore. It’s all too much. I need so much help.

When I was 2 months, my biological father sexually abused me until I was 2 1/2 years old. I am now diagnosed with cPTSD, chronic depression, generalized anxiety, and ADHD. I also do believe I may also have Bpd or bipolar but I haven’t gotten tested yet.

I’ve felt so alone my whole life so I’m hoping getting on here will help
#BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ChronicDepression #Anxiety #ADHD #CPTSD

7 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Think about a difficult situation you went through recently. What did you learn?

<p>Think about a difficult situation you went through recently. What did you learn?</p>
23 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Trying to deal with it all

Like I had posted before all I wish is for people wouldn't give advice or comment on things they don't understand. Tired of users,liars, an just having to put up a front. Today was better than most. Still depressed with anxiety an dealing with suicidal thoughts as always. Changed meds again hope these are better. I am trying my hardest to deal, hope that's enough. May all those that are going through something similar, hang in there. Maybe you will find what you want or need.
#

10 people are talking about this