JM Kelley

Hi, my name is Ready4change22. I'm here because although they fixed my scoliosis with Herrington Rods when I was 12, at the age of 52, I now have a 30% curve in my lower back which is causing me considerable pain. They cannot fix the new curve without wrecking my quality of life completely. So, I am looking forward to increasing pain in lower back, butt and down my legs until I can't stand it anymore and go in for the surgery. Plus as an added bonus, the Herrington Rods in my upper back are fighting old age and gravity, causing lots of pain in upper back and shoulders.

#MightyTogether #Scoliosis

I have bipolar disorder and I've recently had to stop working because of it. I haven't told all my friends. I am afraid some will judge me for being out of work. They've made fun of my work in the past. Do you have to let friends like that go? Do you give them a chance and tell them that hurts your feelings? I am scared to let them know.

I’m currently a psychology major, what major are you pursuing or have pursued in the past? #MentalHealth #University #College #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Depression

I am a Christian. I have experienced severe childhood trauma and I am depressed and suicidal. To some that's an oxymoron, including my husband.
I have experienced so much pain in this life & I'm so tired. I have also been affected by suicide, so I hate that I would do that to my kids. But when you truly feel that every one is better off without you it overrides everything. The only thing that stops me everytime is my fear of going to hell...because if I knew for sure that I wouldn't go there for taking my life, I wouldn't be here right now. I feel so alone because my husband thinks I talk about suicide as a form of manipulation instead of a cry for help 💔 he has lived an easy life and makes me feel bad for my anger and mental illness.

#Suicide #PTSD #Depression

I recently discovered someone I considered a good friend was actually gaslighting me and had used most of the narcissistic abuse you can to keep me in line with his expectations. I realized how far it had gone when I got upset and read the conversation to my therapist. She cringed so hard at every one of his comments to me, that I had no choice but to realize that it was just horrid. The next day, I called him on it, and told him he would never have that opportunity again. I then got accused of gaslighting him! I have cut him out of my life, but it hurts, a lot.

In the last few weeks, I've discovered some other things that happened when I was small to make me more vulnerable to this type of treatment. My parents used me in their fights to get back at each other. I know this happened when I was a teen, probably when I was a little kid as well. I know when I'm around my mom, I feel like every thought or decision I make is stupid and wrong. I'm constantly second guessing myself.

I'm thankful that my current husband of 25 years knows me well enough to be able to help shut it down, but I still needed a therapist's help for this recent mess. I am hurting over having to cut that friend out of my life, but he got to me well enough that certain circumstances have me hearing his voice telling me how wrong I am. Hopefully, someday, I'll be able to time that enough so it doesn't send me spiraling all the time. Although it makes me sad for each and every one of us here, I'm happy to know I'm not alone in dealing with this.

I never really put two and two together, but something I have realized recently is that I tend to heavily throw myself into the RPG games that I play in/run and I figured out why, besides them just being fun and an amazing way to bring out one's imagination.

I like being able to be someone else.

I enjoy being able to do things that I can't do as myself (dice permitting of course). And I don't just mean the fantasy, magic elements of the game. I mean being able to run. Or swordfight. Or hell, being able to walk more than a block without being in incapacitating pain.

It truly is an escape from myself sometimes and I have realized that my characters don't necessarily need to be physically strong to be 'heros'. So, as of late, my characters I've created have begun to have similar struggles to mine. My current favorite character that I play is a member of a winged species, yet they cannot fly due to malaligned bone structure and muscle atrophy in their wings. But guess what? They're still kicking butt left and right.

You don't have to fit in to what society deems as "strong" to be amazing in your own right. And if I learn nothing else in the years ahead from RPGs, I will still be satisfied and happy from knowing that

-Aisling

#ChronicPain #Disabled

I'm worried about the upcoming heatwave in the UK. Forecasts say it might get up to 30c/86f where I live. I'm well aware other places deal with heat like this regularly, but the UK, especially where I live, is very poorly adapted for heat.
Air-conditioning is almost unheard of. Homes are built to retain heat, not reduce it. I experience hot flushes & a burning sensation all over, & I'm just scared how my body is going to react to this. For reference, the area I live has barely crawled over 20c/68f so far.
Tips from spoonies about how to handle this with #ChronicPain & #Fibromyalgia would be welcome!