Had another night of not sleeping at all. Bracing for the next dreadful development.
There Have been times in my life when bad or scary things did not happen. But even when I don’t eat chocolate or other sweet things or drink anything with caffeine in it I still have this free floating anxiety about needing to Brace myself for the next bad thing that is or that might be going to happen to me. & All of that Negative apprehension and sense of overhanging and impending doom causes me Not to be able to sleep. It is like I think about having to eventually move to a cheaper apartment but my body feels like I might have to move tomorrow. Maybe that means there is too much adrenaline in me especially at night. I really need to buy the subliminal persuasion cds and start listening to them. They are self-hypnosis cds. I used to listen to them on tape but I don’t have a tape player now. The same company now makes the cds. (With subjects like I Want To Be Happy and Relieve Stress and Anxiety.) The company that makes them is called Unlimited Potentials. - - I just have to continue to remind myself that while some things are immediately upcoming - others are not. I have to be stronger and Not indulge in panicking ahead of time.