Pat P.

@ginger112 | contributor
Early childhood trauma and lifelong struggles with mental health led me to The Mighty. I've learned the power of sharing and not staying in this madness alone. Sometimes I can support, sometimes I need support.
Community Voices

What is your favorite part of travel?

<p>What is your favorite part of travel?</p>
8 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Switching medications

After a lot of discussion with my psychiatrist, we decided to switch my main antidepressant. I’m on day 2 of the new drug and tapered from my old one slowly prior to starting the new drug. This isn’t my first time switching antidepressants so I had a reasonable idea what to expect - basically feeling awful and dizzy, headachy, and nauseated as the old drug leaves my system, and then bracing for however the side effects of the new drugs decide to hit me as that ramps up. But even though i know what to expect, today has been really tough - the headachy/dizzyness is really bad. I logged off work early because of the dizzyness (luckily I have a really supportive supervisor, so I thankfully did not stress about leaving early - small merices) and then napped for a bit. When i got up and had lunch, i thought i felt okay enough to go to the grocery store (I typically grocery shop on Fridays, so i did not have a lot of food in the house) and i went. It quickly became obvious at the store that it had been a bad idea to go - i kept clutching the cart really tightly worried that i would lose my balance and i was having trouble moving around other people and their carts. They also were out of a few things i typically buy and that made me really emotional. Near the end of the trip, i teared up because they did not have any frozen bananas. When i got home, i burst into tears and sobbed for about 20 minutes. I had the presence of mind to tell myself that my reaction was so intense partly because my brain is trying to get used to the abscense of the old drug and the presence of the new drug. I took a cold bath (it’s pretty warm where i am) and then went back to bed, which is where i’ve now been for several hours. I only got up about two hours ago to feed my cats.

I hate feeling like this and even though i know it won’t last forever, I don’t know how long it will last. And of course, to top it off, i feel weak and like a loser. I know this is not true of course - i am actually pretty strong, and trying a new med is a brave thing to do - but the feeling is there nonetheless. Depression really knows how to get you wheb you’re down.

#Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #Medication #CheckInWithMe #Selfcare

30 people are talking about this
Community Voices

How do you feel about gratitude practices? Yay or nay?

<p>How do you feel about gratitude practices? Yay or nay?</p>
19 people are talking about this

All I Needed When I Was Feeling Suicidal Was Love

I sat on the bleachers, staring at the baseball field. It was after 10 p.m. and silent. Just me and my thoughts. I’d just had an outburst at my husband and stormed out, leaving him stuck at home with our sleeping kids and unable to follow me. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do any of this anymore. Everyone would be better off if I was dead. This hurts too much. My thoughts were my worst enemy and tonight, they were about to win. Every part of me wanted to run and never stop running. How do I run from my thoughts, though? The only way to make them stop was to end it. I truly believed it. I took a deep breath right as my phone chimed. “Please tell me where you are. I will come right to you.” It was one of my best friends. I almost closed the message. There was no way he could help me. There was no way he could make this pain go away. I stared at the message for a few minutes before blinking back tears, typing my location and hitting send. A few weeks later, I stood in my son’s bedroom on the phone with another friend. I was telling her how much I was struggling. She listened and then I heard her take a breath. “I am very worried about you. I think you need to go to the emergency room and let them know how you are feeling. If not, I am worried you will end up dying and I love you too much to let that happen.” I told her all of the excuses why I couldn’t. She told me all of the reasons I should. I went to my husband in tears and told him how scared I was. He dropped everything he was doing and held me. He told me how much I was loved and how proud he was of my strength. About an hour later, I was walking into the local hospital with my husband and being placed on a psychiatric hold. I didn’t need someone to have all of the answers. I didn’t need someone to fix all of my problems. I just needed someone to care. Someone to fight by my side. Someone to help me fight the thoughts in my head. All of these people felt they weren’t doing a good enough job when, in reality, they were doing exactly what I needed: loving me in my darkness. Surrounding me until I could see the light again. Giving me strength until I could be strong on my own. All of my problems are not fixed, but at least I am still here in order to have a chance. Mental illness is an isolating thing to deal with and sometimes my own mind will convince me I am not loved enough to stay alive. I am not loved enough to fight. I am not loved enough for anyone to care. That is when I need someone to show me otherwise. I will always be thankful for the angels sent to me in my struggle. Their love for me showed even when they did not know the right words. They saved my life.

Community Voices

My son

How do I say this? My son died today. He was 40. He has 3 kids. We don't know cause of death yet but suspect an overdose. It still isn't real. They haven't let me see him, I don't know when I can. I've been in shock all day, a numb fog. I consider those in this group as friends and just wanted you to know. If you are a person who prays, my family would appreciate any you can send up.

15 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I already have six mental illness diagnoses. I talked with my psychiatrist this week because I'm frustrated with the overlap of symptoms and trying to understand (so I can better cope) which ones belong to what diagnosis. He started asking me questions about my bipolar symptoms. He ended up asking me the screening questions for borderline. And he determined it is an accurate diagnosis for me. I saw my therapist the next day and asked him about it. He agrees that it fits me. Why am I freaking out? I've accepted all the other diagnoses fairly easily. I have fought this one for years. They keep suggesting BPD and then rule it out. Symptoms have gotten stronger the older I get. I don't want this diagnosis. Isn't that funny? It doesn't change anything, I am who I am with or without the diagnosis. I would love to hear from anyone willing to share with me your reaction to receiving this diagnosis and maybe where you are with it now if you've gotten used to it. Or if you haven't. #CPTSD #ADHD #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Childhoodtrauma #SexualAbuse

11 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I already have six mental illness diagnoses. I talked with my psychiatrist this week because I'm frustrated with the overlap of symptoms and trying to understand (so I can better cope) which ones belong to what diagnosis. He started asking me questions about my bipolar symptoms. He ended up asking me the screening questions for borderline. And he determined it is an accurate diagnosis for me. I saw my therapist the next day and asked him about it. He agrees that it fits me. Why am I freaking out? I've accepted all the other diagnoses fairly easily. I have fought this one for years. They keep suggesting BPD and then rule it out. Symptoms have gotten stronger the older I get. I don't want this diagnosis. Isn't that funny? It doesn't change anything, I am who I am with or without the diagnosis. I would love to hear from anyone willing to share with me your reaction to receiving this diagnosis and maybe where you are with it now if you've gotten used to it. Or if you haven't. #CPTSD #ADHD #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Childhoodtrauma #SexualAbuse

11 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Silence

<p>Silence</p>
44 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I already have six mental illness diagnoses. I talked with my psychiatrist this week because I'm frustrated with the overlap of symptoms and trying to understand (so I can better cope) which ones belong to what diagnosis. He started asking me questions about my bipolar symptoms. He ended up asking me the screening questions for borderline. And he determined it is an accurate diagnosis for me. I saw my therapist the next day and asked him about it. He agrees that it fits me. Why am I freaking out? I've accepted all the other diagnoses fairly easily. I have fought this one for years. They keep suggesting BPD and then rule it out. Symptoms have gotten stronger the older I get. I don't want this diagnosis. Isn't that funny? It doesn't change anything, I am who I am with or without the diagnosis. I would love to hear from anyone willing to share with me your reaction to receiving this diagnosis and maybe where you are with it now if you've gotten used to it. Or if you haven't. #CPTSD #ADHD #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Childhoodtrauma #SexualAbuse

11 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Create a space where you can take off your armor.

<p>Create a space where you can take off your armor.</p>
4 people are talking about this