Andie

Sertaline. People fed it to me without my knowledge. I had a seratonin syndrome attack and didn’t understand what it was. My brain is fogged, I have irreversible damage now. I don’t trust anyone. I can only care for people superficially. You hurt me more than I hurt you. I never fed you drugs. I never turned family members against you. I never tried to get you kicked out of school. I never treated you like you’d be better off dead. I never tried to kill you. But you did. Why can the world not recognize a monster unless that monster has done something to them? My words, my opinions are like shadows compared to your sticks and stones. People trust the shadows because they were directed towards themselves. They are blinded by the darkness of them so much that they can’t see you throwing rocks. Yet, you lob them with childish enthusiasm because you believe you cannot be caught. You have them all so perfectly fooled. You’re the king of Topsy Turvy Day.

I think it was about a year ago where I was reading about BPD, and note to others please don't self-diagnose. I brought it up to my therapist and we went over the symptoms, and to my therapist it did seem like I did. Apparently it is misdiagnosed among men because it is mostly seen as a woman's mental illness because it is more diagnosed among them.

I do get a lot of irrational thoughts and the relationship I have with people aren't the best. Being an INFP probably makes it worse along with having depression and anxiety. Sometimes the relationship I am in now, my mind creates really irrational thoughts of, oh she is cheating on me or would leave me or something. It sucks, it really does. I try making myself feel better saying, if that was hypothetically true, I deserve it, I was never worthy, there are so many people better looking than me, a better person than me, different reasons why someone should leave me. So in a way I am still believing those irrational thoughts to be somewhat true, in order to put myself down. To always feel undeserving, undesirable, and unable to be loved. Sometimes I just want to leave so I don't have to think those things ever. My mind still some how twists and turns to make it seem like it is possible. No matter how loyal I am, how loving I am, it isn't enough. It feels like it is never enough. It is like I always sought to be emotionally supported and loved. Whenever people aren't fully there I feel the need to cut. Cut those people out. Which is why in my previous post I put out why you can't get unlimited amount of love from people. You can only get it from God who is the source of all love. Can't depend on someone to be happy. I definitely do idealize her, she is the perfect person for me, but I do have those times where I believe she doesn't care enough. I do feel like I need to work on myself more. It has been such a wonderful and positive relationship for me. And part of me says I should leave because deep down, I am a bad person. She will find out that I am really a bad person and leave. I even had thoughts of suicide if those thoughts about her leaving or cheating were to be true. I don't maybe this is part of me in growing and making changes. I feel embarrassed and ashamed for even sharing this. At the end of the day I can always delete this, right? I shouldn't be like this...I don't even think I got my point across in what I wanted to say.

There are so many more things I can say about being a guy with BPD.

I can't get him off my mind. I miss everything. All I asked for was communication but I got lies. 4 months later I'm still fucked up beyond recognition about him leaving me. Idk what to do. I need help. Please help me.

I let him move in with me so I feel guilty. I hate myself more ever day. I just want to end it all.

Hey guys. Long time no see. I've been busy af with personal stuff. But right now I feel sad. I used to have a best friend. Her name was Amber she has bipolar and bpd
We went through everything together. She was my ride or die bitch. After high school she lived with her now ex bf. She was the one I had my first drink with. Things were good. Then she stopped taking her meds. She changed. She was no longer the bff I had known since 5th grade. She didn't care about me or my well being anymore. She only cared about herself she became narssisctic she no longer called to have a conversation with me she only did to bitch about her ex or babble on about something I didn't understand. She became toxic and I had to get away. Now I miss her. She still has pics of us from high school. She was my only friend I trusted her and she betrayed me and I have severe trust issues. My heart aches for her the old her. I feel so lonely now anybody else relate?

I get migraines pretty badly; I am sure some of you can relate. About a year ago I got Botox with a friend at a Botox party and I noticed I didn’t have those headaches for a few months after that. I then learned that it can actually be used to prevent migrains. Has anyone tried this? #Migraine #botox #Headache

Hi fellow Mighty warriors. I was wondering if any of you are/have ever suffered with migraine type headaches for many days often. Screentime tends to make it worse which is a problem since my job requires use of a computer screen for eight hours a day. I have the filters already set on the screen so the blue light or whatever is dimmed. This is a symptom that is relatively new to me if it is "normal". I know things impact people differently, but man....these suckers completely take me down. I can't afford to need to leave work early too as often as I get them. Any ideas?

Its been 6 months since my fp broke up with me, it is normal that i cant move on?