Holdon2021

@holdon2021
Well I am not a spring chicken but not a senior citizen either. Just somewhere in between. Just ended 7 years with a narcissist and think I will spend the rest of my life alone.
Community Voices

God

If I'm a monster why would a good and loving heavenly father create me. I've been struggling with religion and faith. I've been trying to pray and listen to klove. I've been having some questions. I'm a believer struggling with ptsd depression and etc. I want to go to heaven. # rapture last days. Hoping that God is not mad at me and I'm not bad for not being in church and being human. # Christians that struggle

17 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Yesterday I interviewed for an assisted living facility to be an activity coordinator. The interview lasted about an hour and I felt like my pre-depression self again. I got the job and I’m so excited and hopeful that I will be able to thrive at this job. I’m also looking forward to going back to college and finishing my 5 classes I have left for psychology. I really want to help people and am thinking of getting my lcdc license eventually too.❤️

5 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Depression and Grief #Depression #Grief #gaslight narcisstic abuse survivor

14 months gone from the Narc. 4 months no contact, but the emotional scars won’t seem to heal. His actions continue to hurt me emotionally mentally financially and I feel I am in a downward spiral. The littlest thing tears my heart apart. I don’t know why I am still grieving. Will he ever stop hurting me. I left it all. My home, my friends, my family, my job, the money, just to escape the abuse. I live in despicable environment while he flourishes in our clinic and our home and takes his 20 year old staff members to the beach for a week. I can’t seem to pick myself up anymore. I can’t see the light. I only see he ruined my life.

10 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Depression and Grief #Depression #Grief #gaslight narcisstic abuse survivor

14 months gone from the Narc. 4 months no contact, but the emotional scars won’t seem to heal. His actions continue to hurt me emotionally mentally financially and I feel I am in a downward spiral. The littlest thing tears my heart apart. I don’t know why I am still grieving. Will he ever stop hurting me. I left it all. My home, my friends, my family, my job, the money, just to escape the abuse. I live in despicable environment while he flourishes in our clinic and our home and takes his 20 year old staff members to the beach for a week. I can’t seem to pick myself up anymore. I can’t see the light. I only see he ruined my life.

10 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Depression and Grief #Depression #Grief #gaslight narcisstic abuse survivor

14 months gone from the Narc. 4 months no contact, but the emotional scars won’t seem to heal. His actions continue to hurt me emotionally mentally financially and I feel I am in a downward spiral. The littlest thing tears my heart apart. I don’t know why I am still grieving. Will he ever stop hurting me. I left it all. My home, my friends, my family, my job, the money, just to escape the abuse. I live in despicable environment while he flourishes in our clinic and our home and takes his 20 year old staff members to the beach for a week. I can’t seem to pick myself up anymore. I can’t see the light. I only see he ruined my life.

10 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Depression and Grief #Depression #Grief #gaslight narcisstic abuse survivor

14 months gone from the Narc. 4 months no contact, but the emotional scars won’t seem to heal. His actions continue to hurt me emotionally mentally financially and I feel I am in a downward spiral. The littlest thing tears my heart apart. I don’t know why I am still grieving. Will he ever stop hurting me. I left it all. My home, my friends, my family, my job, the money, just to escape the abuse. I live in despicable environment while he flourishes in our clinic and our home and takes his 20 year old staff members to the beach for a week. I can’t seem to pick myself up anymore. I can’t see the light. I only see he ruined my life.

10 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Worries

I used to be suicidal but thankfully I found a medication that turned me around the next day. Sometimes when I get depressed from my health issues I get thoughts again but they are just thoughts. I do sometimes worry that they will become more than that in the future but I have a strong support system. I am mostly worried about my brother. He is incredibly depressed and suicidal and no medication or therapy is helping him. I don’t know how to help him either. I’m also conserned because I don’t think my dad is helping the situation. I know he cares and he loves him but he doesn’t understand depression. I tried to describe it as feeling like you’re drowning while everyone around doesnt notice and/or is breathing fine. I’m terrified that I will lose my brother and I don’t know how to help. I feel like he’s standing in the middle of a frozen lake and the ice is getting thinner by the days.

9 people are talking about this
Community Voices

The emotion that sums up my weekend is…

<p>The emotion that sums up my weekend is…</p>
79 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Family is impossible and just demands more. #Depression #PTSD

As sole caretaker for my mom with dementia and two sisters that could care less, I get a text telling me to take her to an eye doctors appointment they scheduled for her Wednesday. Ten months in recovery from domestic violence and narcissistic abuse and not once have any of them called. They ignore my mental health issues and have no idea how suicidal I have been and the repetitiveness of dementia patient almost puts me over the edge. They both work part time and I have no job. Why did that set me off? I cried for two days now. Do I look like a doormat. Can you not see my mental state. I have no one that understands most days I don’t want to be alive. It is minute by minute sometimes to battle my mind.

8 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Family is impossible and just demands more. #Depression #PTSD

As sole caretaker for my mom with dementia and two sisters that could care less, I get a text telling me to take her to an eye doctors appointment they scheduled for her Wednesday. Ten months in recovery from domestic violence and narcissistic abuse and not once have any of them called. They ignore my mental health issues and have no idea how suicidal I have been and the repetitiveness of dementia patient almost puts me over the edge. They both work part time and I have no job. Why did that set me off? I cried for two days now. Do I look like a doormat. Can you not see my mental state. I have no one that understands most days I don’t want to be alive. It is minute by minute sometimes to battle my mind.

8 people are talking about this