JamesEllisUK

@jamesellisuk
I spent 16 years on a cycle of therapy, medication & trauma but now have found the present, faith, myself and a wonderful connection with the universe. I have found I am more than my thoughts, that there is hope, joy, blessings everywhere if we are present and open. It feels natural now to pass on what I know, what I do to be present and balanced and hope through my words others can find a spark to ignite their recovery. Your are so much more than you know, Love is immortal, be yourself, I know you can do it.
Community Voices

Stressed about family dynamic and speaking up for myself

I've come to realize that both of my parents have narcissistic tendencies, but they're intertwined with their views about religion and the Bible. For instance, I was told repeatedly in my life "Is this the person you want to be? Do you think this is how God wants you to be?" followed by a lecture usually involving scripture and prayer. I'm finally standing up for myself more, which can sometimes turn into a meltdown because my parents do not try to hear me out and I get frustrated. My dad tried to teach me to be unconditionally respectful of everyone my whole life but that's just not for me. Im not gonna respect you if you bully and tease me. Unfortunately, I have to live at home currently at 25 years old because Im in school and can't afford to move out any time soon. Any advice on how to stand up for myself while still respecting that my parents are letting me live here? #CheckInWithMe #ChildhoodAbuse #PTSD #CPTSD #ADHD

15 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Stressed about family dynamic and speaking up for myself

I've come to realize that both of my parents have narcissistic tendencies, but they're intertwined with their views about religion and the Bible. For instance, I was told repeatedly in my life "Is this the person you want to be? Do you think this is how God wants you to be?" followed by a lecture usually involving scripture and prayer. I'm finally standing up for myself more, which can sometimes turn into a meltdown because my parents do not try to hear me out and I get frustrated. My dad tried to teach me to be unconditionally respectful of everyone my whole life but that's just not for me. Im not gonna respect you if you bully and tease me. Unfortunately, I have to live at home currently at 25 years old because Im in school and can't afford to move out any time soon. Any advice on how to stand up for myself while still respecting that my parents are letting me live here? #CheckInWithMe #ChildhoodAbuse #PTSD #CPTSD #ADHD

15 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Stressed about family dynamic and speaking up for myself

I've come to realize that both of my parents have narcissistic tendencies, but they're intertwined with their views about religion and the Bible. For instance, I was told repeatedly in my life "Is this the person you want to be? Do you think this is how God wants you to be?" followed by a lecture usually involving scripture and prayer. I'm finally standing up for myself more, which can sometimes turn into a meltdown because my parents do not try to hear me out and I get frustrated. My dad tried to teach me to be unconditionally respectful of everyone my whole life but that's just not for me. Im not gonna respect you if you bully and tease me. Unfortunately, I have to live at home currently at 25 years old because Im in school and can't afford to move out any time soon. Any advice on how to stand up for myself while still respecting that my parents are letting me live here? #CheckInWithMe #ChildhoodAbuse #PTSD #CPTSD #ADHD

15 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I Can't Quiet My Mind... Feeling Defeated

I would never do anything (suicide), only because I will not put my children and parents through that horror... but with the plethora of thoughts in my mind, and other things going on, I feel closer and closer to defeat, and I have a better understanding as to why people make that choice.

How are you able to constantly able to have "a talk" with yourself about it?

11 people are talking about this
Community Voices
Community Voices

My Nemesis: Social Anxiety

That archenemy called #SocialAnxiety has felt like a terror, terrible and overpowering, overwhelming and embarrassing. Going into public I have hidden behind my husband, my phone, my children. When heading into a situation with people I have been frozen outside wondering how I can sustain the nerves and fear. It takes so much out of me and so much time to recover. One distinct experience stands out in my memories.

I trembled inside as I willed myself to join a new group. I drove to a park. I got out of the van with my child I had with me that day. I forced myself to ask someone if I was in the right place. She verified that I was. Shortly after that my little child wandered a bit too far from me. It was then that I saw my exit, my savior, my escape, my release from this agony!

I walked towards my little one exploring the playground and busied myself with anything other than staying in this coterie of mothers. And I did not return!

This hiking group made their way down the trail without me. I had endured intense pain only to survive it by running away.

I was the girl who bolted. The introverted, highly sensitive woman who can score so well in academics but failed to learn societies social language.

I could not let what I did remain as it was. I must face this punishing fear. To prove to myself that it could be done. Exposure is the best antidote to irrational fear… or so they say.

I must confirm that one of the hardest days of my life was going back to that exact same circumstances, forcing myself out of the car, and among the same people. The physical sensations of fear and dread are inexplicably hard to describe. It grips the body with #Anxiety and uncertainty.

That day I survived. I walked that trail with that hiking group. I made up for running away that first time and living with the regret.

I have since pushed myself limping and fearful into a myriad of social situations. I can now face them head on and survive them.

However, this does not equal thriving in them. My fears, anxieties, and #Depression have kept me from forming bonds and real relationships that are solid and necessary for one’s health and life.

Social anxiety is a beast, a ruthless monster.

It takes these fears and tells me I am not enough because I cannot measure up to others. It is watching people have the ease of conversation and connection right beside you while you do not know how to be one of them. Social anxiety along with depression has woven barren crevices along my soul.

However, it still stands that I faced one of my biggest and hardest fears that day. I am sure no one was aware of the inner turmoil that was shredding my insides. But I did do it! I did go. And that in and of itself is a step, a Herculean step in the right direction.

4 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Anxiety is a part of me

All my life i have been an anxious person. Though at the time i didn’t know that. I just thought that that is how i was suppose to feel. All through school i always strive to do my best, felt like others were judging me and was always nervous about something. It wasn’t until i graduated from college and had to go out into the real world is when it really it me. At this point i couldn’t control or maintain my #Anxiety , I couldn’t deal with what life was throwing at me. This is when i sought out help from my doctor and eventually got a therapist. It was such a relief to find relief. I began to work on my anxiety and #Depression . I felt more myself than i have in along time. fast forward years later, I got a job on a mental health unit. This job ended up being really good for me because i got to learn more about how to care for your mental health and help others. i learned more in depth about mental disorders and medicine. After fours years working as a PCA i became someone that was running the therapeutic groups. I was doing even more for people. I would learn new stuff that would help patients and myself on a daily basis. My own struggles with mental illness helped in relating to the patients and them knowing that they are not alone. Anxiety is a part of m e and can’t change that. I try to embrace it. i am not cured and still have battles with myself but each day i learn.

3 people are talking about this
Community Voices

What are some things you do for self care? 🤔

<p>What are some things you do for self care? 🤔</p>
10 people are talking about this
Community Voices
Community Voices