The Little Demon Called "Depression"
depression is an interesting little demon. It makes you think you’re in control for a long time. Then suddenly, you wake up one morning ready to put your fist through a wall for no reason. The urge to yell at someone is almost overwhelming. Deep in the recesses of your mind, you know you don’t have any reason to feel this way which causes you to feel even angrier at yourself for not being able to control your emotions and then you start to wonder why you even take those stupid pills for your depression when it’s obviously not working today. You can feel yourself start to spiral down that rabbit hole so you sit on your couch and scroll through Instagram, hoping for a distraction.
You get a text from a friend. She tells you she missed seeing you today.
“Sorry”, you think. “My bitch mode was activated this morning and I couldn’t risk people seeing the ‘real me’”, is what you’d love to respond. But you tell the demon to shut up and simply reply “Thanks. Missed you too”, because she’s just being a loving friend and doesn’t deserve to be bitten by the poisonous venom of your depression rearing its deadly fangs.
depression is different for everyone. For years, I never realized my anger was a symptom. I just always assumed my anger came from being Latina, as we tend to be more “hot blooded” than the average person.
Even though I take medication to manage my depression, it still creeps into my life every now and again, reminding me that depression is not something that can be cured like a cold. It’s a chemical imbalance that requires treatment. Some days, you will win the battle. Other days, the demon will win. But the battle continues. It stops for no man or woman.
As I write these words, I am reminded of the lyrics to a famous song:
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life for me
And I’m feeling good
Remember, each new dawn is a new day. Fight for the right to feel good.