How to Practice Self-Care While Caring for Others
I think as humans, we desire to help others. We learn about being polite to others and treating people with respect as early as kindergarten. It is how we are wired, and for many like me, the desire to help others comes as naturally as breathing. It is an integral part of how I was raised. I was raised by two very loving and accepting parents who taught me to respect people who come from all walks of life. I was also taught to love and care for others and to always offer my help when the circumstances call for it.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with helping others. It is a noble and admirable trait that I like to think that most people possess. However, it can become a problem when your desire to help others starts to overshadow your own care. We like to think that we possess superpowers and can help others solve their problems no matter the magnitude or scope. This is not only impossible, but it is unhealthy for your general mental health and well-being. I have always grown up being told that I am too forgiving and too nice. While this may be harsh, I felt like it was an accurate statement for much of my life when I was in my later teens and early young adult ages.
There is something about helping others that leave you feeling good. It helps sustain your self-esteem and enhances your confidence in lending a helping hand. When we see someone who is less fortunate than we are or someone who is struggling, our first instinct is to want to help them out so they can climb out of their situation and resume a calmer and more or so normal life. This is natural. However, what we must consider is that we cannot help someone who is not willing to accept help for themselves. As much as we’d love the power to heal the sick and assist the struggling, we must remember that they are in the driver’s seat when it comes to their lives. We can encourage and be there for them when they may need us, but the simple fact is that we cannot control them or their actions.
This can be a hard pill to swallow when you are a compassionate and empathic person by nature. The absolute best thing we can do is wish them the best and continue to live our lives for ourselves. This is a lot easier said than done, but it is vital for not only your life but your sanity. Your friend who is struggling may think that you’re being selfish at the time of you deciding to take care of yourself, but I am here to tell you it is not selfish at all. When we have spent so much of our lives taking care of others, the initial step to taking care of ourselves can be a challenging one. It is important to remember that nothing worth accomplishing is meant to come easily, especially when it is centered around your #MentalHealth and self-care.
It is paramount to begin your self-love and self-recovery journey in small doses. This may mean journaling about something we’d like to improve upon; For some, it means working in a #Depression or self-esteem workbook to better understand what they’re going through and how it interlocks with their current circumstances. For others, it is as simple as taking a walk and taking the time to deeply appreciate the beautiful surroundings. It is something as simple as spending time petting your dog or cat. Anything you take pleasure in doing could be considered self-care. It doesn’t have to be lavish or expensive. If you are spending time with yourself and accomplishing important things at once that is truly all that matters.
Once you take flight and begin putting yourself first, you feel a sense of renewed freedom. You will finally feel the chains of other people’s responsibilities fall to the ground. The stress and worry will evaporate at a pace you have never experienced before, and most importantly, when you take the initiative to put yourself first, you’re also putting your #MentalHealth and well-being first. Practice makes perfect and letting go of others does not happen overnight, but this does not diminish the worthiness of the experience.