Mind over health
I'm 34 I was diagnosed with beginning stages of endometrial cancer in my 20s . I did what I was supposed took my megace , and actually my last hyteroscopy / d&c in 2019 I was clear no evidence of cancer. Well 2020 I knew something was wrong the pain was constant , my periods were off, and I just knew to call my oncologist .
Dr says I don't want you to schedule an appointment just schedule a surgery so we can take some biopsies. Let me say this again I knew
Doc gives me a call and tells me I had a reoccurance its back it spread and is worse then it ever was . I listened to my options: keep taking the meds so we can have a baby and jeopardize my chances of it getting worse or have a hysterectomy. Husband said what options there isn't any . Forget about trying to have a baby hysterectomy it is, your life is more important.
I honestly beat myself up and was so upset! Lied to my friends and family saying I'm perfectly fine with the decision, but in all actuality I wasn't ok and I'm still not ok . Knowing we've been pregnant previously, taking all the meds for 7 yrs , going under so many times, and it was all for nothing! For me just to be told that my life is on the line, and no babies. Everyone says you can adopt , I get it yes I can , however I will never be able to feel a baby kick , listen to a heart beat, or have an amazing bond with a child in my womb . What womb !!! I don't have one 😶. Its officially gone my options are over. I still feel empty and it's only been 3 weeks post my hysterectomy.
I don't feel complete anymore, and honestly I don't know if I ever will . I know I sound completely selfish right now. I honestly so needed to get this off of my chest . Sorry