A mother again #PostpartumDepression
Just something I thought earlier today and wanted to share here.
Becoming a PT working new mom from being a single FT working mom for 9 years is a really big difference. Less stress and less hours of work but with a 9 month old baby girl now. When COVID hit in 2020 I met my bf on a dating app who now is my husband. I wasn’t expecting anything serious usually because I end up meeting the wrong men but this time was different. I decided to accept the date and from our first day I never left his house. I told him about my depression even though it might push him away but he decided to stay with me and learn from it in order to help me. We got engaged soon after and married. Planned our first child together until the pregnancy was not as easy as I thought it would be. It became high risk and my job was demanding me to work in the same fast speed but I couldn’t. I got on disability until the baby was born and went on maternity leave soon after. I was so depressed throughout my whole pregnancy and scared of what might happen to her more than myself. She finally came at 28 weeks and in the nicu for 2 months. I decided to start working part time and just watch after her when I got off work.
It was so hard at first and some days I just felt down and depressed that I used to just ignore everyone even started not to answer my husbands phone calls and always argued about every little thing. I was having really bad headaches and whenever my daughter cried it will get worse. I went back to therapy and my pills but after 2 months I started to gain weight so my Doctor wanted me to stop it for a bit and just continue with therapy. Honestly it quit everything and I started to workout because I got very tired easily and I felt it was my weights fault.
I started to feel more energetic and then work on my Mental health looking for ways to help myself without these medications and therapy. Mostly my whole day is focused on my daughter and when she’s asleep I write on a journal or think of topics for a blog. I clean, I cook, I sing and play with her, I give her a bath and do her hair, do laundry and sometimes look at TV shows when I have alone time. I try to workout but she takes 5–15 minute naps during the day so it’s impossible to do that.
It’s so hard at 35 years old to become a mom again because it’s not the same as when at my 20s. I’m more tired, exhausted, mentally drained, too many headaches, overeating with the stress and not having time to take a shower. Becoming a mother once more is very hard on some but very loving because it will take your mind of your thoughts and focused on someone else’s. So now I’m ending thi story because I can keep going for hours.
Good luck to all the new mommies duringthis COVID times. And those suffering with depression, I just want to say to you that “you got this and never give up.” Someone is always watching you and there’s people willing to help. If you need support just reach out. #MentalHealth #Pregnancy #Depression