Monica

@monana83
Hello, my name is Monica and I’ve lived with Major Depressive Disorder and Anxiety my entire life. I found this website in hopes to connect with others going through the same thing and to learn more about my illnesses and how to cope. #MajorDepressiveDisorder #GeneralizedAnxiety #ComplexPTSD
Community Voices

It's all coming down

* This is a long word vomit. I am sorry, but I need this out and my plea for help needs heard. Family just does not get it*

About 5 months ago I took a FMLA break for my mental health from work. My new position along with my recent diagnoses of chronic illnesses was taking its toll on my esteem and work. I put on weight from my new job, was making careless errors, and adjusting to my new normal with meds and rest, and missing my old coworkers from the other shift I was working. After four weeks I was still a mess, and my FMLA was out a week ago. I had to make a decision, and this one was a doosy.
I had to look at my new life and choose weather work could be a part of it anymore. I had been working since I was 14, that's 28 years. I worked full time and carried on getting a masters degree with my husband and three children at home. I have always worked, and when I had to take time off for recovery from surgery I went nuts at the three week mark. Now with my chronic illnesses, depression, and anxiety I must choose. I chose to stay home.
Now I am battling even more. I feel like a failure for not working, I feel worthless because I cannot get out of this, I feel worse cause I gained 40lbs in these 5 months because I cannot motivate to get out of the bed or chair. I feel like I am the worst thing alive because I cannot function like a normal adult should.
My husband says it's ok, my primary doc said take it a little at a time, my psych suggested therapy. Next I am going to my rheumatologist. Last time she harped on the weight I gained from the new job. I'm scared things are going to be worse. I don't want worse, I need better.
My motivation keeps going down each turn. What do you turn to? Does it get better? I'm in a hole and cannot reach the top! I need help.

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I’m new here!

Hi, my name is lilac87. I'm here because I have developed severe anxiety around my work and face because of chronic acne that’s only gotten worse. But this is the first time that these things have lead me to want to just quit my new dream job and hibernate. I know it would destroy my life, and I worked for a decade to get that position. Does anyone with chronic anxiety and ideally acne have words of hope to share?

#MightyTogether #Anxiety

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What are you up to this weekend?

<p>What are you up to this weekend?</p>
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Maybe I'm the Problem

While I do think my boyfriend is abusive, I've been thinking maybe it's my fault, like some people say. I always want money to spend, because it makes me feel so much better, and I have so many things I want. Plus, I'm always asking my boyfriend to get things for my medical and mental conditions, such as powder or Lotrimin (I chafe, get skin tears, and get infections under flabby skin and skin not open to fresh air, like under my abdomen, breasts, underarms, thighs and where they join my private areas, and other areas, plus my feet and shoes have fungi, and all of these areas smell), gloves, dental picks, baby wipes, bed pads, incontinence underwear (that doesn't even fit, because the stores--and my boyfriend prefers to buy everything at Walmart, plus their brand, and most of it is crap), and more, plus things to make me a little more comfortable (I wear bandanas to keep my hair out of my eyes and because my boyfriend seems to almost always want the temperature opposite of what I do, and when he wants it warm, I sweat, especially after coming out of the bathroom, because it takes so much out of me). I'm morbidly obese, my teeth are a disaster area, I have OCD, I have panic disorder, I'm a hoarder, I'm physically disabled in many ways, I need glasses, I'm out-of-shape, my eyes always have gunk in them and are irritated, I'm always asking my boyfriend for help or to get things (like storage bins) so I can do the things I can do myself (but he can't afford it), and I could go on.

The worst thing is, I beg him for help with my cats, getting food, even feeding them, or at least giving me money for these things, plus I want to order a couple of hoodies, because it's less cleaning for me when I'm done--that's one thing I use baby wipes and gloves for. I can't give them up when we move, which is why I want to get my own house where I can keep them all. He used to help feed them, take care of them, and seemed to care about them, but he immediately stopped once he legally lost the house. I can't do that. I love them. I want to take them with me. Last time I was there, one of my cats let me pick her up and climbed on my shoulder, just the way she used to when we lived in the house. I cried.

I need to stop being a burden to my boyfriend. Maybe I deserve his snapping, yelling, and criticism, but I can't stand how it feels. I get overwhelmed with all the forms I have to fill out, and get anxious talking to people, asking for help. I say the wrong things. No one understands my OCD or my physical issues. I'm a loser.

#Anxiety
#ocd
#obsessivecompulsivedisorder
#depression
#panicdisorder
#ptsd
#cptsd
#disability
#abuse
#emotionalabuse
#mentalabuse
#financialabuse
#money
#finances

34 people are talking about this
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valium and promethiazine

which of these prescription medications should I request from my GP to alleviate symptoms of panic attack and high anxiety

7 people are talking about this
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Undiagnosed chronic illness and I need a wheelchair

<p>Undiagnosed <a href="https://themighty.com/topic/chronic-illness/?label=chronic illness" class="tm-embed-link  tm-autolink health-map" data-id="5b23ce6f00553f33fe98fe39" data-name="chronic illness" title="chronic illness" target="_blank">chronic illness</a> and I need a wheelchair</p>
18 people are talking about this
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What’s not working in your life right now? How can you begin to fix it?

<p>What’s not working in your life right now? How can you begin to fix it?</p>
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What Calms You Down?

<p>What Calms You Down?</p>
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