NSharon

@nsharon
Community Voices

I saved a life❤️

My coworkers husband suffers from bipolar depression and has attempted suicide. My coworker told me she does not know how to talk to him when he is that “way”. I had just got over Covid and was feeling very grateful for life.

I volunteered to talk to her husband whom is twenty years my senior. I told him everything I went through with my depression;intrusive thoughts, lethargy, anger, suicidal ideation and relationships. I also told him the benefits of therapy and how it help you see things in a diffrent way. He mentioned he didn’t want to go on medication and I understood and did not judge.
We talked for next three months, he told me he never spoke to anyone like this before and I offered him some peace. A few months later after we stopped talking, his wife tells me that he is now going to therapy regularly and loves it.
Her husband contacted me recently and thanked me for my time and caring, I changed his
Life for the better. I said I would only hope someone will do the same for me when I’m in need. #Depression #Therapy
#Friendship #BipolarDisorder

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I’m so happy

I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m pregnant 🎉
I’ve wanted this for so long!! I’m going to do everything within my power to make sure my child knows they are loved and safe. Here’s to 2022 finally looking up
#Depression #Anxiety #DistractMe #positive #Love

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My Husband Took His Life After Hiding Years of Sexual Abuse

As a child, my husband endured years of sexual abuse. He never sought help for it, nor did he disclose his abuse while he was alive. Due to shame and complex trauma, he kept his abuse hidden. At 34 years old, he took his life. On the outside, my husband was a happy, easygoing, successful man. But as his wife, my intuition always told me something underneath was wrong. The few times I brought it up, and the handful of times I suggested we get external help, he shut it down. He’d change the subject, make a joke, and laugh. I would feel his love again and would tell myself I imagined it all. The (very) few times he let me in enough to see the pain, he closed back up as soon as he let that sliver of light in. It wasn’t until after he took his life that his truth came out, and I began to understand the extent of what he lived through as a child. Hidden Abuse My husband’s life ended because of suicide. But a driving force behind his death was repeated childhood sexual abuse. Since childhood, a façade was cultivated to keep the abuse hidden and the abusers protected — a pattern that he, too, had been conditioned to maintain. The weight of the abuse and the secrets, lies, and shame surrounding it led my husband to struggle with hidden depression and complex post-traumatic disorder (C-PTSD) which he experienced in childhood and in adulthood (the latter of which I only now see and understand). On the outside, he was the opposite; cool, calm, collected. I now see how hard he fought to keep everything hidden and “under control,” out of sight to the world and as much as he could, to himself. When he died, he left behind letters, documents, and other information which described a terrorized man completely out of control inside his own body and mind. He was humiliated, terrified, and confused. He hated himself and was ashamed of who he was because of what was done to him. All the while, he blamed himself for how he felt, not fully making the connection that the sexual abuse from years before had shaped the adult that he had grown into, and the emotions, thoughts, and behaviors he embodied. All of this was exacerbated by acute yet covert emotional abuse, which morphed from childhood but never relented, continuing until his final days. Shame, Expectations — And How I Truly Saw Him My husband couldn’t fathom telling me, his wife, what had happened to his body, his ego, his self-esteem, his identity, his masculinity, even his sexuality. He was ashamed of what had happened. In his mind, it was all his fault. But as soon as I found out what he lived (and why he died), I felt nothing of what he feared I would. In fact, I felt the exact opposite. When I found out about his abuse, this is what I did feel — and what I wish I could have told him: 1. I loved him even more. When I found out about the abuse, I wasn’t embarrassed of him, ashamed, or disgusted. I didn’t think he was “dirty” or “less of a man.” Instead, my immediate reaction was bursting love and deep empathy. He was already gone from the world when I found out, yet all I wanted in that moment was to hold him, tell him how much I love him, and let him know that I was here for him, indefinitely. The love I have for my husband is unconditional and eternal. It always was and it always will be. No experience can take that away, no matter how much stigma and shame surround it. 2. I immediately knew that none of it was his fault, no matter how deeply he was led to believe that it was. He was a child when the abuse began. Full stop. 3. I finally understood him in full. Everything clicked. It finally made sense. I finally understood what was beneath the surface all those years, causing the behaviors that my intuition told me weren’t right. I finally understood why he behaved as he did, and why the abusers behaved as they did. 4. I wanted to be his bridge to getting professional help. I wanted to stand by him in his pain and be his support system as he opened up to the realities of the abuse he endured. 5. More than anything, I wish that he had known that he didn’t have to live in pain forever. Whether it’s due to abuse, traumatic loss, or another traumatic event, the pain of trauma never fully goes away. At the same time, as I’ve discovered in my own healing, trauma does not have to be a life sentence. It all starts with telling someone that we’re in pain. Say Something Looking back, I wish that my husband had told me what he was going through. I didn’t need to know the details. But I do wish he had broken the seal on the pain he carried, and had let me in to know he needed help. I also wish I had trusted my intuition that something wasn’t right. At the time, I didn’t want to rock the boat. Even more, I wanted to believe that everything was fine. It didn’t compute that we could be so in love, and at the same time, there could be something wrong underneath. I now see that this juxtaposition is not only possible — but that if not confronted, it only fuels the façade. Ultimately, the air of perfection made it even more difficult for my husband to talk about his abuse. He thought that he would let me down if our perfect life cracked. In actuality, I would have listened and stood by his side. More than anything, I wish that we had trusted our love enough to know that no matter what was said, we would be there for each other. We were life partners, and that entails holding space and showing up amidst the greatest pain. My Hope My husband is now gone, and as I’ve learned from our experience, the ripple effects of child sexual abuse are vast and wide. In many ways, my husband’s pain has been transferred to me, as I now navigate life as a widow and survivor of suicide loss. It’s my hope that by sharing our story, others who are scared to speak out about abuse — or are afraid to rock the boat when something with their loved one doesn’t feel right — are encouraged to talk. Healing starts when we say something. May our story be an invitation to do so. A starting place to find free, confidential help: If you or a man you care about has been sexually abused, contact 1in6.org for live chat and anonymous online support groups. If you or someone you care about having thoughts of suicide, contact the National Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-8255 or live chat at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/ Follow this journey on The Alchemy of Science & Spirit.

Community Voices

The moment I told my ab_usive father that I never wanted to see him again was unlike anything I expected. ⁠

<p>The moment I told my ab_usive father that I never wanted to see him again was unlike anything I expected. ⁠</p>
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Community Voices

why was I born in this country?

I have no where else to share this without endangering my life, I was born in one of the most sexist, homophobic and close-minded country you could ever think of! all I want is to wake up, wear what I want and go out and meet NORMAL people without being scared for my life all of the time.
my mom underestimates my struggles a LOT and calls me dramatic, gloomy and delusional whenever I try to open up about it, I'm forced to cover up from head to toe, I can't remember how it felt the last time my hair felt the breeze more than 18 years ago, I'm tired.. I just graduated med school, I'm 25 and honestly can't take this any longer.
I want to fall in love but men here are extremely sexist so I don't want none of them, I just graduated so I don't have any money to move out of the country and live whatever is left of my youth, my family is wealthy but they would never support me on this.. I feel like I can't take it more, I can't shake off the idea that I was never meant to live my life this lifetime and that it's maybe the best to just give up and hope for a "next life" instead.. there are no therapists to talk to about my suicidal thoughts because they would literally put my life in danger if they know that I'm tired of this life because of this country's religion and the people in it.

I just felt like venting because I'm at my lowest these days.

#ChronicDepression #exhausted #Drained

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LKR

A nice place? I’d settle for anything less than a haunted house, lol.

<p>A nice place? I’d settle for anything less than a haunted house, lol.</p>
10 people are talking about this
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