sashahans

In January of this year, I was attacked at work by a patient. I was unscathed physically, yet emotionally I have been a mess. I was to begin my clinical in Mental Health Counseling for my master's degree. It was too much, and I am currently on a leave of absence. You see, being attacked has always been a fear of mine. A disabling fear, and then it happened. My fear has now become my reality. My anxiety is subsiding, but my depression is as bad as it was when I was hospitalized 7 1/2 years ago. I know I can get through this, it's just tough right now. I don't want to live, yet I don't want to die. I am indifferent about life. I have a glimpse of hope, so that will keep me going.
#Depression , anxiety, and fighting

Since I’m new here, I thought that it would be helpful to share a few details about myself before I start to interact with other members.
-I’ve struggled with my MH my whole life
-I come from a dysfunctional family
-Friendships are hard to come by for me and never last
-Romantic relationships feel complicated and confusing
-Currently, I’m trying to figure out what’s next for me in life, without knowing where I belong socially
#Depression #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #Friends

I'm new here- came across an article about the disability process adding to MH disorders that I identified with completely.
I have had 3 spine surgeries, went back to work after each one- only lasted a few months after the 3rd surgery. Degenerative disc disease, intractable migraines, fibromyalgia, occipital neuralgia, ME/CFS, depression as a result of medical conditions, anxiety/panic disorder.
I paid taxes every year since 1986 - when I was 12. I loved my 2nd career- my company was paying full tuition to become a licensed SW.
I was also a volunteer on county workgroups, I gave educational speeches to community members. It WRECKED me to admit I couldn't work. After 2 years I got a phone hearing. The judge had clearly made up her mind before the hearing even started. I had a full blown panic attack reading her decision- she painted a beautiful picture of my abilities and functioning- I wished it were true.
End of the road is appeals in Virginia. It took another year, another $15k in medical bills - but just this month the appeals council OVERTURNED her decision outright.
The amount of stress lifted cannot be quantified 🙏