Sharyn Guarino

@shar52870
I'm turning 52 soon and in the last 3 years lost the father of my children, my son who was 28 to suicide and my dad whom Basically lost the will to live after Jacob killed himself. I have a daughter who is suffering and has alienated me on and off for the past few years which is another loss because I have 2 grandchildren that I can't talk to or see unless she wants me to. I miss my daughter so much. It's hard to grieve one child who is gone but to grieve one that is 5 hours away is painful as well. I'm alone in this world and its very lonely.
Community Voices

At 4 years old, I would cry myself to sleep because the children were starving in Africa. I'm a highly sensitive person.

<p>At 4 years old, I would cry myself to sleep because the children were starving in Africa. I'm a highly sensitive person.</p>
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Jude Gibbs

There Isn't a Word That Defines the Pain of a Bereaved Parent

“When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses her or his partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them.” — President Reagan In 1988, President Ronald Reagan declared October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Since that time, specifically October 15, this day has been set aside to remember those sweet babies who aren’t in their parent’s arms. I truly appreciate President Reagan for doing this for I have had four pregnancy losses. I do wish, however, that it was a day/month designated for all bereaved parents no matter what age our child may have been when they passed on. This statement of his was actually a rearranged quote from another: “A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. There is no word for a parent who loses a child. That’s how awful the loss is.” — Jay Neugeboren, “An Orphan’s Tale” The most common names for us who have had to bury a child are: grieving parent or bereaved parent. I am a bereft mother of five, including my 20-year-old son. I think about my children every single day, and it has been 18 years and three months since my 20-year-old left this world. I think about how many more months and years I have before I am reunited with him, and meeting my other four for the first time. I still have days of “grief fog.” I still have days that are completely debilitating. I am forever abiding in a holding pattern…waiting. I still find myself unconsciously placing my hand on my abdomen when I think of them. There are other days when I can embrace the love intertwined in the memories I so cherish — days in which I can see my son’s gleaming smile in my mind’s eye…and I smile, too. How do we break the silence? How do the nameless become known? I am the Unknown, the Undesignated, the Anonymous. When I type “bereaved parent” in Webster’s Thesaurus, a box pops up that states: Words fail us How apropos and to the point is that? Perhaps there is no word possible to “define” us. There is certainly no adequate word to describe our excruciating pain; there is no way of measuring the depth of our heartache. Perhaps, we shall always be the: Nameless, the Unidentified. Jude’s book, “Gifts from the Ashes,” is available at Direct Textbook. A version of this post originally appeared on Jude’s website. We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here . Thinkstock image by Filipovic018

Community Voices

I'm trying so hard to stay well

Last night or should I say weeks I can't seem to stop crying. I'm so lonely and I miss my family who has made it clear that if I showed up I wouldn't be welcomed, only my mom is there for me but she's in her 80's. I never thought I'd be alone at this age, I'm not young and suffer with disabilities so I'm finding it hard to bounce back from each blow of cruelty. I feel like I'm in a boxing ring with Muhammad Ali. Everyday something else happens, last night was the first time I actually thought about ending it all. I won't do that because I know first hand the destruction it leaves behind. Plus, I have a daughter and 2 grandchildren. Mind you, she has alienated me from her life and the grandkids too. She will call every once in awhile and just when I think it's finally over (alienated me) she disappears. It's like grieving both my children, but one is still alive. I remain hopeful but guarded. But this sadness I'm feeling lately is crippling me. #SuicideLossSurvivors #Depression #ChildLoss #Grief

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Community Voices

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Community Voices

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Community Voices

I’ am here for you.

<p>I’ am here for you.</p>
62 people are talking about this
Community Voices
Community Voices

Heart Conversations

<p>Heart Conversations</p>
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Community Voices

My daughter punished herself

When she was 2 years old and time outs didn't work, she was born with attitude and bless her heart I'm so glad , cause she can handle herself being a single mom. Any who, I would put her in the corner for 2 minutes (pure hell for me, lol) One afternoon I ran down to the cellar to grab the laundry and I couldn't find her. I was gone not even 2 minutes. I'm freaking out yelling her name and calmly I hear her faint voice say to me "Momma, Sarah was BAD" she had put herself in the corner! To this day I have no idea what she did cause I had to run out of the room before I burst out laughing!#MakeMeLaugh #funny #Children #Memories #smile #smile

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Community Voices

Hello

Just come from my psychiatrist berating me for misleading her on her original diagnosis of bipolar - now she thinks it is anxiety and depression with some form of personality disorder. I know I have attachment issues from being raised with alcoholic emotionally abusive father. I have avoided specific people for decades, only to fall apart when they die because I missed them so much. I also have 'inappropriate' attachment to those who have been nice to me. I don't really know what is wrong with me but while stemming from teenage years, it has finally caught up with me and I have been off work sick for almost a year, with no improvement in sight. Frustrated, sad, lonely, started another medication today.

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